You cannot make another happy, and nobody can make you happy. Happiness is too personal. People can help each other with all kinds of things, if they’re able and if they want to. Someone can give you a ride, or … Continue reading
Category: Psychology & Self-Improvement
Creating a Business
In developing a business, brainstorming is important, not because all or most of the ideas will work, but 1-2 or 3 (out of 100) of them will work and that’s what matters. I have learned, in self-employment, that many ideas … Continue reading
My Label is My Excuse
Using a mental health or psychiatric label represents a convenient excuse. It provides cover for the label recipient who says, “I can’t help it. I have depression.” Or attention deficit disorder. Or narcissistic personality disorder. Or whatever the latest label … Continue reading
Authentic
You cannot change other people. You don’t even have to change them, if you don’t like what they’re doing. All you have to do is make your own behavior consistent with what you think of them, and what you think … Continue reading
Subjective Secondary Gain
There’s an old term in psychology called “secondary gain.” I prefer to call it “subjective secondary gain.” This refers to what you’re really getting out of something that is otherwise irrational. Another way I once heard it put was, “How … Continue reading
Of What Use Are the Manipulated?
“Manipulative” people are ones who lie or imply their motives for doing something are other than what they are. It’s not effective to be manipulative. Manipulation only “works” to the degree that your victim is not paying attention. Yet think … Continue reading
No Short-Cut to Competence
Hurrying is the alleged short-cut to competence. You don’t get an effective result by rushing. You get an effective result by being conscientious and accurate. More and more instances of doing something competently lead to greater and greater efficiency. But … Continue reading
Feeling “Used”
Nobody wants to be used. But what does this term really mean? Some people say they’re being used merely because someone else gets something out of their personal encounter. But there’s nothing wrong with self-interest. Every encounter, whether business or … Continue reading
Passion and Drive
A reader asks: What’s the difference, if any, between “passion” and “drive”? Passion is the emotional excitement one has over something. Drive is the motivation to get it done, along with a commitment to determining (and following through on) the … Continue reading
Fear and Fear Mongers
A “fear monger” is someone who seeks to generate fear in you in order to gain control over you. “Control” can mean many different things. It can mean a sense of seeing you afraid, which makes a (sick) person happy. … Continue reading
Mental Health Labels Aren’t Kind
I don’t see any point to labeling yourself with a psychiatric disorder. What does it do, other than imply that a mental state is something that happens “to” you rather than something that comes about because of a series of … Continue reading
Thinking, contd.
A reader wrote in with the comment, in essence, that just because you think you’re thinking, doesn’t mean you’re thinking. This was in response to my column about the virtue and necessity of thinking (see The Glory of Thinking, Daily … Continue reading