Bullies are, by definition, insecure. They are unsure about something. They choose to handle the anxiety aroused by this uncertainty through intimidating others (mentally or physically). Bullies come in all shapes and sizes. Many of them are card-carrying, socially acceptable … Continue reading
Category: Psychology & Self-Improvement
The Fallacy of “Giving Up”
There’s no reason to ever consider yourself “hopeless.” First of all–you’re all you’ve got. You cannot give up on yourself, because you’re going to be with yourself, either way. More than that, a desire to “give up on yourself” implies … Continue reading
The Fallacy of Jealousy
Jealousy and envy make no rational sense. If someone else accomplished something you cannot, then there’s nothing you can do about it. Why be bothered by it? Also, the fact that you cannot do something says nothing whatsoever about what … Continue reading
Passive-aggressive people are worse than aggressive people. At least aggressive people tell you, in words and action, where they stand. Where they stand may be wrong. But at least you know, and at least they tell you. Passive-aggressive people don’t … Continue reading
Back in Time
People often want to hit the “restart” button on their personal relationships, or past decisions. They wish they could go back in time and make decisions all over again, with knowledge they now possess. This makes no sense at all. … Continue reading
Are You Crazy?
I’m rather startled by the number of perfectly reasonable people who think they might be “crazy” and, because I’m a therapist by profession, will see that they are “crazy.” Crazy refers to psychosis, meaning a complete break with a recognition … Continue reading
You Can’t Lose With Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is the most important aspect of mental health. Without self-esteem, how can you expect to live your life free of anxiety, depression, or general angst? I don’t see where positive thinking comes from unless you are happy about yourself. … Continue reading
Projection is when you attribute to another person a quality you consider undesirable about yourself. For example, being quick to call Joe a liar when you consider yourself a liar–but won’t admit this fact. Or, being quick to call Mary … Continue reading
Why Doesn’t Anyone Like Me?
Q: Dr. Hurd, I have few real friends and feel that people usually respond to me in a negative way, no matter how nice or reasonable I try to be. Any thoughts or advice? A: You say people seem to … Continue reading
Sometimes, depression is what happens when you go too long without a sense of purpose. It’s like the engine light going on in the car when it hasn’t obtained proper maintenance. This is why depression/anxiety and other psychological problems can, … Continue reading
Remember the Point of Planning!
If you fail to focus on, engage in and otherwise appreciate THIS moment — because of your thoughts about the next hour, the next day or the next year — then you’re cheating yourself in two respects. You’re diminishing your … Continue reading