Bitterness is an emotional state of resentment combined with anger. It’s usually chronic, in nature. A bitter person feels entitled to something he or she didn’t get — whether it’s a specific courtesy or something as unspecified as happiness. Bitterness … Continue reading
Category: Psychology & Self-Improvement
Just a Little Unwell
Some people don’t like to be treated well. Why is this? There can be many reasons, depending on the exact psychology of the person who craves mistreatment. One reason is low self-worth, obviously. The form this takes is: “I’m not … Continue reading
Realistic Optimism
Realistic optimism consists of two parts. The first is that you face facts, at all times, and consider all relevant facts. The second is that you assume the positive is more powerful and more relevant than the negative. Even when … Continue reading
You Can’t Not Decide
You can try to escape choice, but you still cannot escape deciding. To decide not to make a choice is still to decide. So you might as well face it–and choose.
Help With Your Independence
The issue isn’t whether to “get help” or to be independent. That’s a false choice. The issue is whether to help yourself, or to find someone to help you help yourself. Helping yourself is fine. But there’s nothing wrong with … Continue reading
The Psychology of Productivity
Do you define your work–or does your work define you? Your work is supposed to “work” for you. Ideally, it fulfills you and provides meaning and purpose for you, along with a good income. Worst case, it enables you to … Continue reading
Help on the Way…And Its Name is YOU
The last thing an individual — or a society — needs is a “guru.” Or a savior. Or someone to rescue them. The very notion implies one of the natural, inevitable human state as one of helplessness. “I’m helpless and … Continue reading
Just Do It–But Think it First
Getting things done means you’re a doer. But it also implies that you’re a thinker. Sometimes, people who don’t get things done — even things they’re committed to doing, even small things — assume that the problem occurs because, “I … Continue reading
Your Learning Curve
Give yourself room to have a learning curve. Embrace your mistakes as corrections, and as indications of future success. Look at error as increased knowledge, and the pain from error simply as the cost that everything has. Make it all … Continue reading
When “Why?” Doesn’t Apply
Don’t worry about the irrational motives of another person. Don’t get caught up in, “Why is she acting this way?” or, “Why is he so self-defeating?” In most cases, you cannot know for sure. A person will not tell you … Continue reading
Don’t Forget the Future
People often ask: How much time is reasonable for me to focus on my past, in therapy or otherwise? The answer isn’t quantitative. The answer is simply: As much time as you need, in order to understand what went wrong, … Continue reading
Does Your Job Serve You–or the Other Way Around?
If you define yourself by your work, then you have reversed the order of things. You’re serving your career rather than having your career serve you. Even the simplest job exists to serve you–for income and, if possible, for fulfillment. … Continue reading