Q: Sometimes I’m jealous of those who have a steadfast passion for a concrete professional goal or at least a general career, and don’t get too obsessed with all the possibilities their choices have excluded. A: The presence of a … Continue reading
The key issue with respect to anxiety is: ‘Am I willing to surrender to what I cannot control—while redoubling my efforts to take charge of what I can control?’ People tend to feel severe anxiety as they get more caught … Continue reading
If it’s true that errors result in new knowledge, then yesterday’s error is today’s — and tomorrow’s — triumph.
Q: I have difficulty turning ideas into action. I find myself rapidly switching directions on what I want to accomplish (both short term goals and long term) which essentially freezes me into inaction. A: The concern you express here actually … Continue reading
People get confused about focus. People say, ‘I cannot focus.’ In that moment this may be literally true, but they CAN revert back to the activity of focusing. Let’s say you’re really committed to reading a book, and you like … Continue reading
Q: Dr. Hurd, I’m told that I have Attention Deficit Disorder and I’m skeptical. It’s not that I don’t have problems paying attention; I do. I constantly lose interest in things. But even on medication I still have problems. Plus, … Continue reading
Q: What exactly is “tough love” and do you subscribe to it? A: “Tough love” refers to a true principle: The idea that just because you love someone doesn’t always mean you’re going to tell them what they want to … Continue reading
Are you impatient? Do you have unrealistic expectations of yourself and others? This is a major cause of the depressive feeling that life isn’t really valuable or worthwhile. Are you intolerant? Of course some things deserve intolerance—such as evil, or … Continue reading
A rational purpose is equivalent to being in a ship, on the ocean, with a compass/computer pointing you towards a selected destination. To have no rational purpose is like being that ship, completely adrift in the ocean with nowhere to … Continue reading
For motivation to take place, it has to be for yourself. It can either be: ‘I’m doing this exclusively for myself’ as, say, a novelist or an artist. Or, it can be: ‘I’m doing this for my boss but really … Continue reading
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MORALLY BAD FEELING. Feelings are automatic and not something you deliberately choose to have. Morality only applies to things over which you have control. So, if you have a feeling, the most you … Continue reading
Overthinking means unproductive thinking. I don’t like the term “overthinking” because it implies, incorrectly, that a certain amount of thinking is the right amount (what amount? never specified) and to go above or below it is irrational. This is no … Continue reading