What does the term “cognitive distortions” mean? It refers to the fact that our initial reactions are not always reliable and trustworthy. Don’t be ashamed of those initial reactions. Don’t moralize about them or ‘be ashamed.’ Simply see them for … Continue reading →

Look back, to better understand what to do — and not to do — now. Look ahead, to gauge where to go from here, and why. Think of the past and future, but relate everything to here and now. If … Continue reading →

I love the saying: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, while still expecting different results.” It’s not error itself that defines insanity. It’s denial. It’s evasion. It’s a willful refusal to introspect and look at one’s … Continue reading →

Nagging comes from anxiety. It’s based on a false belief that repetition will create motivation. It never does. In fact, it lowers respect for the one who nags. Nagging reveals weakness. It’s a way of confessing, “I have failed to … Continue reading →

There is a good mental technique called ‘demystifying.’ The starting premise is: ‘There are no mysteries. There ARE unknowns, but the unknown can become knowable. The method is to break it down and figure out how.’ Demystifying lowers anxiety because … Continue reading →

In marital relationship problems, the most overlooked area of communication is listening. Most people assume listening is for the sake of the other partner. “Yeah, yeah, I should listen–for his [or her] sake.” That’s not it! Although your partner may … Continue reading →

Before you say, “I don’t have the time,” make sure to answer the question, “Do I MAKE the time?” You can “make time” in different ways. The most overlooked way is to CUT something you currently do in favor of … Continue reading →

Being a supportive friend doesn’t mean always agreeing with your friend. It means supporting that his mind reached a certain conclusion — or decision — and you respect him for it. You support a friend by respecting his mind, his … Continue reading →

A lot of the reason people underachieve — or even get depressed — is because of a false belief that there’s “something better.” Sometimes this false belief is in an afterlife. Only the most fervent believers can buy into this … Continue reading →

People who are certain of nothing fail to appreciate the power of facts, reality and logic. People who are certain of everything likewise fail to appreciate the power of facts, reality and logic. Those who feel, “Who am I to … Continue reading →

Don’t make pleasing others your goal. Make pleasing yourself the goal. The people who really matter will be pleased that you did.