A serious goal that involves a major life change is an all-or-nothing proposition. You either commit to it, or you don’t. If, for example, you decided to become a writer, you would write every day—or more days than not. You … Continue reading
Perspective comes from hope and confidence. We all know hope is valuable, but confidence is very important, too. Confidence allows us to assume that we are able to solve and resolve problems—even when in the moment we cannot solve them … Continue reading
The whole idea of calling mental health or behavioral problems–like depression, alcohol abuse–a “disease” was to encourage people to stop viewing them with shame. If you view your problems with shame, you’ll more likely deny or ignore them rather than … Continue reading
Dependence doesn’t mean delegating to others what you’re able and willing to pay for. Dependence doesn’t mean learning from, or listening to, somebody else. It’s not dependent for a medical student to go to medical school and learn what previous … Continue reading
Listening doesn’t come from a desire to please others. Listening comes from a desire to understand and learn. A subject is either important and interesting to you, or it isn’t. A person is either important and interesting to you, or … Continue reading
If the purpose of mental health is “feeling good,” as many insist — then the proper standard of life should be: If it feels good, do it. But unless you are supremely rational, you might sometimes FEEL like doing something … Continue reading
Overly critical people lack self-esteem and self-respect. This is why they are quick to criticize. The flaws they see in others are sometimes valid, and sometimes exaggerated or overstated (in defiance of the person’s strengths). It’s the reason they criticize … Continue reading
Does suffering strengthen character? Not really. Suffering is never an end in itself. The avoidance of suffering is a goal–but not the primary one. Living a happy, self-interested and rational life is the overriding goal (and the purpose of morality). … Continue reading
Get out of your own way. Stop holding on to policies, ideas and behaviors that don’t work. If you’re happy, then fine. But if you’re unhappy, this is an indicaiton that you’re in your own way. The biggest single mistake … Continue reading
What you communicate is based on what you assume. It’s best to know what you assume, and to verify it, before you communicate it. There used to be an expression that went like this: “When you assume, you make an … Continue reading
To introspect and reflect helps you know your thoughts. If you know your thoughts and your motives, you’re more in control. People who tend to avoid introspecting are usually the types who want control. They feel like they’re losing control … Continue reading
It’s one to thing to stop an excessive or addictive behavior; it’s another thing to quit. People in denial about their excessive behavior tend to say, “Oh, I can quit any time.” What they mean is they can stop. Of … Continue reading