An alternative to “I can’t”: “I am able to succeed at living. This is because I have a mind that can know reality and be right. My mind is intelligent enough to set a long range goal. My mind is … Continue reading →

One of the most common causes of depression or any other kind of emotional malaise is feeling trapped. In reality: You’re rarely trapped. The more you think you are, the more depressed you will feel. But feelings are not facts. … Continue reading →

Q: Dr. Hurd: What fundamentally motivates people who continue to act in a disagreeable way even after you confront them about it? For example, my coworker intermittently makes indirect suggestions that I am gay. I am not, and I eventually … Continue reading →

Remember that being someone’s friend doesn’t mean always agreeing with them. And sometimes disagreeing with them means that sometimes, while you’re respectful of their making their own choices, you’re not going to enable or participate in those choices. If a … Continue reading →

Avoiding conflict is never a rational motive, and never leads to a “safe” choice. People lie to avoid conflict. In the process, they do damage to themselves and eventually to others they intended to protect, when the lie is exposed. … Continue reading →

Persistence is what you exhibit when you know you’re right, why you’re right, and why you have no choice but to stand firm. Stubbornness is when you feel right, you’re not sure why, but you’re sure not going to let … Continue reading →

The next time you feel uncertain, don’t leap to: “Who can tell me what to do?” Instead, ask yourself, “What do I already know?” Then: “What remains unknown?” Next, focus on how to best answer the questions you don’t know–for … Continue reading →

Those with confidence and certainty, think and act. Those lacking confidence and certainty, denounce and manipulate. Confidence comes from the habitual use of one’s mind in a rational, sensible way. Angry, humorless moralism comes from a mind in the habit … Continue reading →

Consider the fallacy of multitasking. You don’t become a master by doing 4,000 things. You become a master by doing twelve things 4,000 times. — Author unknown

When you feel an emotion, especially a troubling one, write it down. This will make you identify what the emotion actually is. Then, look at the emotion as a belief. What belief does the emotion reflect? Is the belief true … Continue reading →

When it comes to work, we usually think of two contexts: Working for yourself; and working for another. In reality, the proper motivation is to work for yourself at all times. The premise of work is that the activity is … Continue reading →

“Closure” is a vague but popular concept. On the surface it means seeking a neat, painless ending–or hoping for the cool, detached perspective of time which cannot be rushed. Seeking closure usually doesn’t get you what you want. Closure is … Continue reading →