The self-esteem equation, for a healthy person, is as follows: “I am worthwhile. I am somebody. I have skills and I know what they are. If I diligently work at these skills, I WILL produce something of worth; something that … Continue reading →

Denial is an emotional hearing problem, or emotional deafness. With auditory deafness, the problem is sensory; with denial, the problem is conceptual. Denial is a combination of a refusal to think carefully and an acceptance of a conclusion that isn’t … Continue reading →

Sacrifice of the self, at the core, means sacrifice of your own mind to the mind of another (or others). This automatically sets into a motion a motivation of caring about what others think, because the primary standard becomes HIS … Continue reading →

Q: I feel different from other people. I’m not weird, but I’m in the minority and I don’t fit into any stereotypical “box.” How can I deal with this feeling? A: Actually, some people ARE uncomfortable with the unusual or … Continue reading →

Success, like happiness, is an objective standard, not a relative one. If you make more money than your competitor, this says little about your success. Your success is defined by the relationship among: the use of your mind, your efforts … Continue reading →

Q: Dr. Hurd, do you think it’s right or wrong for parents with growing children to divorce? Should they stay together for the sake of the children? A: The premise of the question is that the primary obligation of parents … Continue reading →

Q: Dr. Hurd, what’s the difference between a passive-aggressive person who is late because he’s really angry with you, as opposed to someone who’s late simply because of being flighty? A: Your question answers itself. The passive-aggressive person is angry … Continue reading →

Q: Dr. Hurd, I was disappointed with my recent therapy experience. Could the problem have been the therapist? I don’t know what I wanted; but I didn’t get it. Please advise. A: Look at what you’re saying. Let’s apply it … Continue reading →

Q: Dr. Hurd, is it wrong to lie on my resume? A: Yes, but mainly because of what it does to yourself. You assault your sense of pride and self-worth when you attempt to gain something for nothing, or something … Continue reading →

Q: Dr. Hurd, I want to spend Christmas on a Caribbean island with my husband. I don’t want to be with my family or his family; he agrees. Yet I feel guilty. Nobody will be left alone, or anything like … Continue reading →

Inner peace cannot be achieved without action oriented towards the outside world. At the same time, action is meaningless, pointless and even destructive without any reference to inner thoughts, ideas, plans of action or emotions. Philosophy has always emphasized either … Continue reading →

Love of what you do is what creates excellence. What about hard work, self-discipline and dedication? Of course these matter–but none of these are present without love of what you do. You can’t excel or “rise to the top” if … Continue reading →