Avoiding conflict is never a rational motive, and never leads to a “safe” choice. People lie to avoid conflict. In the process, they do damage to themselves and eventually to others they intended to protect, when the lie is exposed. … Continue reading →

Persistence is what you exhibit when you know you’re right, why you’re right, and why you have no choice but to stand firm. Stubbornness is when you feel right, you’re not sure why, but you’re sure not going to let … Continue reading →

The next time you feel uncertain, don’t leap to: “Who can tell me what to do?” Instead, ask yourself, “What do I already know?” Then: “What remains unknown?” Next, focus on how to best answer the questions you don’t know–for … Continue reading →

Those with confidence and certainty, think and act. Those lacking confidence and certainty, denounce and manipulate. Confidence comes from the habitual use of one’s mind in a rational, sensible way. Angry, humorless moralism comes from a mind in the habit … Continue reading →

Consider the fallacy of multitasking. You don’t become a master by doing 4,000 things. You become a master by doing twelve things 4,000 times. — Author unknown

When you feel an emotion, especially a troubling one, write it down. This will make you identify what the emotion actually is. Then, look at the emotion as a belief. What belief does the emotion reflect? Is the belief true … Continue reading →

When it comes to work, we usually think of two contexts: Working for yourself; and working for another. In reality, the proper motivation is to work for yourself at all times. The premise of work is that the activity is … Continue reading →

“Closure” is a vague but popular concept. On the surface it means seeking a neat, painless ending–or hoping for the cool, detached perspective of time which cannot be rushed. Seeking closure usually doesn’t get you what you want. Closure is … Continue reading →

People who can’t be criticized–and who react with great hostility at any hint of criticism–are revealing something important about themselves. They reveal that they don’t hold their convictions and viewpoints about various matters through carefully reasoned out, fact-based judgments. Instead, … Continue reading →

A crisis of confidence is not so much a time to pause and reflect as it is a time to plan rational action–and to remind yourself of what have done well in the past. Low confidence isn’t so much an … Continue reading →

Religion is probably the number one cause of anxiety. Think about what religion emphasizes: What you don’t have control over, and how you have to surrender your will, your mind, your “fate” to a higher power or other, often unnamed … Continue reading →

It’s one thing to compete with others, and another to be inspired by them. It’s one thing to think: “She’s done this well. I have to do better.” It’s another to think: “She did that well. If she can do … Continue reading →