Don’t worry about the irrational motives of another person. Don’t get caught up in, “Why is she acting this way?” or, “Why is he so self-defeating?” In most cases, you cannot know for sure. A person will not tell you why they’re being irrational. Think about the contradiction here: “I will tell you why, logically, I’m being illogical.” This makes no sense, and is impossible on its face. Instead, simply note a person’s irrational behavior. Evaluate it in the context of how irrational it is, and on how wide a scale the person acts this way. Then deal with the person — or back away from the person — accordingly. This is all you can do. But it’s enough, to go on with your life.