Just a Little Unwell

Some people don’t like to be treated well. Why is this? There can be many reasons, depending on the exact psychology of the person who craves mistreatment. One reason is low self-worth, obviously. The form this takes is: “I’m not worthwhile. If you’re being nice to me, then what’s wrong with you? Nobody worthwhile would be nice to ME.” Others have a false belief that reasonableness and kindness equal weakness. Still others suffer from a false belief that reasonable people must be phonies, because all human beings are by nature deceptive. Still others want to be martyrs; in other words, they think suffering is good since it’s an indicator of self-sacrifice, and they want attention drawn to this fact so they can feel others approve of them. These are among the more common reasons people crave poor treatment from others. It’s not pretty, but self-loathing is part of what motivates a surprising number of people. Even if you don’t consider yourself a self-hating masochist, you might still notice some tendencies in your emotions to this effect. If you do, and if they trouble you, then try to figure out their cause. I just gave you a few good leads.