The last thing an individual — or a society — needs is a “guru.” Or a savior. Or someone to rescue them. The very notion implies one of the natural, inevitable human state as one of helplessness. “I’m helpless and … Continue reading
Getting things done means you’re a doer. But it also implies that you’re a thinker. Sometimes, people who don’t get things done — even things they’re committed to doing, even small things — assume that the problem occurs because, “I … Continue reading
Give yourself room to have a learning curve. Embrace your mistakes as corrections, and as indications of future success. Look at error as increased knowledge, and the pain from error simply as the cost that everything has. Make it all … Continue reading
Don’t worry about the irrational motives of another person. Don’t get caught up in, “Why is she acting this way?” or, “Why is he so self-defeating?” In most cases, you cannot know for sure. A person will not tell you … Continue reading
People often ask: How much time is reasonable for me to focus on my past, in therapy or otherwise? The answer isn’t quantitative. The answer is simply: As much time as you need, in order to understand what went wrong, … Continue reading
If you define yourself by your work, then you have reversed the order of things. You’re serving your career rather than having your career serve you. Even the simplest job exists to serve you–for income and, if possible, for fulfillment. … Continue reading
Anger means a response to objective injustice. There are small, medium and large injustices–so there are appropriate degrees of reaction for each. It’s not an injustice for someone to dislike you. It’s not an injustice for someone to think differently … Continue reading
The great joy of spontaneity is not that it’s mindless. You’re able to be spontaneous because you already know, from self-awareness, what you want, and why. So when the moment comes–you seize it! Spontaneity is for thinkers.
Keeping your thoughts to yourself is not particularly desirable, or undesirable. Knowing what your thoughts really are, and what they imply, and whether you can stick by them–these are what count. If you’re impulsive and speak without thinking, you’re not … Continue reading
It’s not WHO you know; it’s HOW you know. It’s not the method of your interactions with others that shapes your destiny; it’s the method of your mind’s interaction with the world around you–with reality–that counts. The people you know … Continue reading
Expertise consists of two things: The thinking one puts into something, and the experience one gains. It’s important to take your experience seriously. Degrees and credentials matter, but not out of context; and sometimes experience counts for more than the … Continue reading
To delay is to put something off to a particular time, that you intend to stick to, and for a reason you know and can objectively justify. To procrastinate is to put something off because you feel like it. You don’t … Continue reading