Emotional problems develop because of conflict or chaos in one’s mind. What causes the conflict or chaos? Usually, contradictions. The contradiction can be between what you think or know versus what you do. Or, the contradiction might be between two … Continue reading
A person can always change. Sometimes, it seems he cannot change, but he still can. “He can’t help himself.” Sometimes this is true, in a sense. It’s true in the sense that his irrational, self-defeating or mistaken thinking will not … Continue reading
I have a problem with the notion of, “It isn’t fair!” What exactly is “it”? Only individual people can be fair or unfair. You can say that Joe is unfair, or Suzie is unfair — but when you say “it” … Continue reading
Nearly everyone says the key to working at home is dealing with the distractions. This can best be accomplished by having your own office/workspace, where everyone in the household understands while you’re at work, you’re at work. No interruptions, please, … Continue reading
What’s the difference between fear and phobia? Fear is rational when you’re trying to uphold something valid, such as cleanliness or being organized. Fear is irrational when you’re primarily concerned with avoiding problems rather than upholding something positive. For example, … Continue reading
Bitterness is an emotional state of resentment combined with anger. It’s usually chronic, in nature. A bitter person feels entitled to something he or she didn’t get — whether it’s a specific courtesy or something as unspecified as happiness. Bitterness … Continue reading
Some people don’t like to be treated well. Why is this? There can be many reasons, depending on the exact psychology of the person who craves mistreatment. One reason is low self-worth, obviously. The form this takes is: “I’m not … Continue reading
Realistic optimism consists of two parts. The first is that you face facts, at all times, and consider all relevant facts. The second is that you assume the positive is more powerful and more relevant than the negative. Even when … Continue reading
You can try to escape choice, but you still cannot escape deciding. To decide not to make a choice is still to decide. So you might as well face it–and choose.
The issue isn’t whether to “get help” or to be independent. That’s a false choice. The issue is whether to help yourself, or to find someone to help you help yourself. Helping yourself is fine. But there’s nothing wrong with … Continue reading
Do you define your work–or does your work define you? Your work is supposed to “work” for you. Ideally, it fulfills you and provides meaning and purpose for you, along with a good income. Worst case, it enables you to … Continue reading
The last thing an individual — or a society — needs is a “guru.” Or a savior. Or someone to rescue them. The very notion implies one of the natural, inevitable human state as one of helplessness. “I’m helpless and … Continue reading