Dear Dr. Hurd: I would be interested, if you would like, to hear your thoughts on how and why people are so drawn to conspiracy theories, and why they react so negatively to being asked for proof. Dr. Hurd’s reply: … Continue reading
People sometimes ask: “How much do you blame your parents for your problems in the present, arising from childhood?” All I can reply is: Hold your parents accountable for anything wrong they said or did. But hold yourself accountable for … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: I agree with today’s Daily Dose of Reason (see 1/1/13), but–because we have no choice in being born with an inborn fear, there always has been and always will be religion/supernaturalism. Dr. Hurd’s reply: Actually, there is … Continue reading
Conclusion of yesterday’s column: Reporter: I think lots of people confuse happiness with fun, and the dangers there are obvious. People who are always looking for that moment-to-moment ‘high’ are, it seems to me, far less likely to find long-term … Continue reading
Dr. Hurd recently engaged in a discussion with a journalist about issues related to happiness, self-esteem, psychology, self-help, and much more. What follows are some excerpts from that discussion: Reporter: It seems to me that we have a fundamental confusion … Continue reading
One of the most annoying qualities a person can display is smugness. Smugness distinguishes itself from confidence in that it’s based on the unearned and undeserved, rather than the honestly achieved. As a result, smugness is pretentious and self-conscious, while … Continue reading
Conclusion of yesterday’s columnHow to Act During a Breakup Learn—or relearn—the value of scheduling your personal life. When you were married or coupled, you defaulted to the relationship. You did what you wanted to do together, sometimes scheduled and sometimes … Continue reading
Everyone knows that breaking up is hard to do. But few know how to do it right. What behaviors are rational under the difficult circumstances of a breakup? And what sort of thinking is required to make it possible to … Continue reading
Q: Isn’t coaching by phone (or email, or online chat) a bad idea, since the therapist/coach is unable to see the facial expressions and body movements of the client? A: According to a cognitive-behavioral therapist, the basic purpose of … Continue reading
The following is an excerpt from Dr. Michael Hurd’s most recent book, “Bad Therapy Good Therapy (And How to Tell the Difference)” available on this webiste: From Oprah to Dr. Phil, from Venus to Mars and all the other self-proclaimed … Continue reading
What does it mean to feel “emotionally safe” with someone? Usually, we think of “safety” as a physical matter. We seek or want safety from a violent criminal, or a terrorist, or perhaps someone who would steal our life’s savings. … Continue reading
I ran across a saying (author unknown) recently: “Sometimes when things are falling apart they may actually be falling into place.” In other words: Perspective matters. You cannot lie to yourself. You can’t pretend a bad thing is a good … Continue reading