Dear Dr. Hurd: My sister has been living her life for the past 8 years unsure of what she wants to do. She’s always been interested in an array of things and can never make up her mind on which … Continue reading
Category: Psychology & Self-Improvement
Fear: The Great Inhibitor
Fear is the great inhibitor. When rational, fear is life-serving and life-protecting. However, the purpose of fear is avoidance. You rationally avoid things in order to obtain what life has to offer. You avoid an oncoming car when crossing a … Continue reading
Q&A: Case of the Gay Wedding Crasher
Dear Dr. Hurd: I have two good friends who live in a “red” state, where gay marriage (or even civil unions) are not recognized. They decided in September to exchange vows in New York City when they were visiting. They … Continue reading
Life-Affirming Ideas for Advancing Self-Interested Happiness
I am in the driver’s seat of my life. I won’t run others down on the road, and I will respect others who are on the road; but where I go is entirely up to me. I won’t forsake either … Continue reading
“Opposites Attract” and the Desperate Seeking of Completion
It’s said that ‘opposites attract’ and this is often true, in love and even friendship. People happily in love sometimes say, ‘He (or she) completes me.’ Is this really true? And is it healthy, if it is? The key is … Continue reading
Why Being Honest About Your Feelings is Not Always Right
Dear Dr. Hurd: I have read what you and others call the need to be “authentic” in personal relationships. At the same time, honestly saying what I feel doesn’t always work out. I try to be honest and say exactly … Continue reading
Why You Care What Others Think—and What to Do About It (Part 2 of 2)
Conclusion of yesterday’s column. In order to develop healthy self-respect, and to stop obsessing on what others think of you, it’s very important that you internalize two questions: ‘ What are the facts (about myself or the outside world)?‘ What … Continue reading
Why You Care What Others Think—and What to Do About It (Part 1 of 2)
The reason you want to please other people (if you do) is that you have made them your standard of knowledge and truth your whole life. If the herd thinks something is true, it’s true; if they reject an idea, … Continue reading
What Marital Compromise Is Really All About
Dear Dr. Hurd: How would you advise an empty nest couple with two professional careers of equal importance to the individuals, to find compromise when job loss is imminent for one spouse whose career is unstable by its nature, and … Continue reading
Once and For All: What are “Addiction” and “Dependence”?
A reader writes in: “Drug abuse. There is a difference between dependence and addiction. Lots of people are on painkillers. Vicodin and Percocet are the most used. It starts out with a prescription for knee, wrist or back pain. Slowly … Continue reading
Life and Happiness Skills
Q: I have been thinking about the topic of self-esteem and self-love as the foundation of happiness. It seems like one cannot exist without the other, and are really one and the same. Is one a byproduct of the other … Continue reading
Interview With Dr. Michael Hurd on Psychology and Therapy
A graduate student in clinical psychology recently asked to interview me for a study he’s doing. Below are his questions and my answers, published here with his permission. Many readers have written in with these questions themselves, so I thought … Continue reading