Q: Dear Dr. Hurd, I live in New York City, and while it’s a wonderful place to live, it’s filled with liberals who don’t share my political views. The problem is that while I’m not a liberal, I’m not some … Continue reading
Category: Psychology & Self-Improvement
Necessary For Happiness
We can actually choose our reactions, in the following way: We can choose to be continuously aware of our inner reactions, and to bend them to objective reality, or let them stand not subjected to reality. If you accept this … Continue reading
Reason, Fear and Independence
Ultimately reason, facts and logic are more powerful than fear. The fear only seems powerful, but it isn’t, and once you start to ‘get’ this, it becomes easier. Fear is an indicator that you are in danger—not necessarily physical danger, … Continue reading
Medication vs. Therapy
Medication makes you forget. Cognitive psychotherapy helps you think. The first helps you escape reality. It makes sense if reality is bad, and is not in any way changeable. The second helps you face it, and is always a good … Continue reading
For the Children
Q: Dr. Hurd, what do you think of the idea of staying in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the children? A: Here’s the problem with the concept of staying married/not staying married for the children’s sake. When you’re … Continue reading
Frustration Management
A lot of frustration comes from the way other people act. Most can deal with the weather, but many have a hard time with frustration over dealing with other people, and what you believe or know their mistaken actions to … Continue reading
Counterproductive
The more you act on feelings at the expense of reason, the worse you’ll feel — later.
Outcast
Q: Dr. Hurd, how can I combat social anxiety? People think I’m strange and weird. I wonder if people even regard me as a human being. I feel like such an outcast! I always have. Any ideas? A: You really … Continue reading
Just Ask
In life, ask for what you want. Don’t expect it, as if you’re entitled — unless you are entitled (i.e. you paid for it, a contract was signed). Don’t refrain from asking unless there’s a valid reason not to do so. … Continue reading
How to Not Care About What Others Think
To not care what other people think, you need an alternative. Your emotions are not enough; they’re not really an alternative at all. A strong alternative to what other people think is the notion of objectivity. Objectivity consists of what … Continue reading
Self-Respect–Remember That Concept?
Self-esteem refers to how you feel about yourself. Self-respect refers to how you treat yourself. Many talk a good game about self-esteem. Fewer actually put into practice the ideas that: “life is worthwhile, therefore I am worthwhile and my life … Continue reading
Is Shame Beneficial?
Shame is like static or interference in a radio, computer or television transmission. It serves no purpose. It gets in the way. Shame is not responsibility. Responsibility is adherence to reality and the willingness to hold in mind all the … Continue reading