Skepticism is not the same as perpetual doubt. Imagine that you say, “I’ll never believe what this person says. In fact, because he says it, I’m sure it’s wrong.” This makes you every bit as dependent on the person, and … Continue reading
There are two contexts for the notion of “crazy.” The first refers to a person who has sensory hallucinations and/or concretely, patently untrue delusions (e.g., the newscaster on the television is actually talking to me, personally). The second notion of … Continue reading
Purpose and goals are not exactly the same thing. Purpose is an overall desire on a general level; a goal is more specific, and it feeds the more general purpose. Think of ‘purpose’ as the planet and ‘goals’ as the … Continue reading
People have written in to ask me, “Do the little things in life, like cleaning your house, matter when it comes to serenity, peace of mind, mental health and self-esteem?” I say: Absolutely. Actually, minor things like cleaning the house … Continue reading
Questions to ask yourself in a journal: What emotions do I feel right now? What percentage of today (0 to 100) did I experience each of the following emotions: Anger; sadness, irritation; joy; contentment; anxiety; disappointment; frustration? Which people or … Continue reading
There’s something in psychology called “secondary gain.” This refers to what a person is actually getting out of doing something, even though it’s irrational. You can also call it “subjective gain” or, as I sometimes do, “the symptom serving the … Continue reading
“Owning your feelings” means taking the responsibility for being aware of your feelings and deciding their validity, i.e. whether they are worth acting on. Refusing to do this — letting the feeling “go by” — is self-neglect and leads to … Continue reading
Do you know it because it’s true? Or is it true because you know it?
Sometimes being absent is the best way to be appreciated.
Many people suffer from the false belief that, “These bad things happened in my childhood, and they ruined me.” It’s like saying, “I’m damaged goods.” Actually, no such thing is true — or could be true. The damage from the … Continue reading
Hi Dr. Hurd: I read your “Daily Dose” column and am getting a kick out of these “excuses” and “toxic euphemisms.” One such excuse I have in mind is that of Borderline Personality Disorder. Translation: “I am a jerk and … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: In the Aug. 23 Daily Dose of Reason, you asked us to send in psychobabble euphemisms that we’ve heard, along with our translations. Here’s mine: My ex-therapist: “You’re suffering from childhood trauma.” Translation: “I’ve rooted out a … Continue reading