Q: Isn’t coaching by phone (or email, or online chat) a bad idea, since the therapist/coach is unable to see the facial expressions and body movements of the client? A: According to a cognitive-behavioral therapist, the basic purpose of … Continue reading
The following is an excerpt from Dr. Michael Hurd’s most recent book, “Bad Therapy Good Therapy (And How to Tell the Difference)” available on this webiste: From Oprah to Dr. Phil, from Venus to Mars and all the other self-proclaimed … Continue reading
What does it mean to feel “emotionally safe” with someone? Usually, we think of “safety” as a physical matter. We seek or want safety from a violent criminal, or a terrorist, or perhaps someone who would steal our life’s savings. … Continue reading
I ran across a saying (author unknown) recently: “Sometimes when things are falling apart they may actually be falling into place.” In other words: Perspective matters. You cannot lie to yourself. You can’t pretend a bad thing is a good … Continue reading
In their relationships, many people think they’re avoiding trouble by not fighting. They look at the absence of fighting as indication that the relationship is healthy. This is a dangerous way to approach things. The absence of fighting does not … Continue reading
Purpose is an objective requirement of happiness. If you don’t have a sense of purpose, life will start to seem pointless and unfocused. This is why retired people often get depressed. It’s not that retiring is wrong. You just have … Continue reading
There’s a lot of confusion, I find, about the question of “being positive.” A lot of people reject the idea of “being positive.” But when asked for a definition of being positive, they seem to assume that it means: ignoring … Continue reading
I liked this comment from a reader about my column entitled, “What I Don’t Get About the Holidays”: Good post. Also, what I don’t get is the craziness of this ‘gift giving’ for the sake of ‘gift giving’ and to … Continue reading
People ask me, “Do you have anything special planned for the holidays?” My honest answer is always, “I do what I want all year. I love my work and I only do other things that I enjoy. I really don’t … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: My sister has been living her life for the past 8 years unsure of what she wants to do. She’s always been interested in an array of things and can never make up her mind on which … Continue reading
Fear is the great inhibitor. When rational, fear is life-serving and life-protecting. However, the purpose of fear is avoidance. You rationally avoid things in order to obtain what life has to offer. You avoid an oncoming car when crossing a … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: I have two good friends who live in a “red” state, where gay marriage (or even civil unions) are not recognized. They decided in September to exchange vows in New York City when they were visiting. They … Continue reading