Fear is the great inhibitor. When rational, fear is life-serving and life-protecting. However, the purpose of fear is avoidance. You rationally avoid things in order to obtain what life has to offer. You avoid an oncoming car when crossing a … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: I have two good friends who live in a “red” state, where gay marriage (or even civil unions) are not recognized. They decided in September to exchange vows in New York City when they were visiting. They … Continue reading
I am in the driver’s seat of my life. I won’t run others down on the road, and I will respect others who are on the road; but where I go is entirely up to me. I won’t forsake either … Continue reading
It’s said that ‘opposites attract’ and this is often true, in love and even friendship. People happily in love sometimes say, ‘He (or she) completes me.’ Is this really true? And is it healthy, if it is? The key is … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: I have read what you and others call the need to be “authentic” in personal relationships. At the same time, honestly saying what I feel doesn’t always work out. I try to be honest and say exactly … Continue reading
Conclusion of yesterday’s column. In order to develop healthy self-respect, and to stop obsessing on what others think of you, it’s very important that you internalize two questions: ‘ What are the facts (about myself or the outside world)?‘ What … Continue reading
The reason you want to please other people (if you do) is that you have made them your standard of knowledge and truth your whole life. If the herd thinks something is true, it’s true; if they reject an idea, … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: How would you advise an empty nest couple with two professional careers of equal importance to the individuals, to find compromise when job loss is imminent for one spouse whose career is unstable by its nature, and … Continue reading
A reader writes in: “Drug abuse. There is a difference between dependence and addiction. Lots of people are on painkillers. Vicodin and Percocet are the most used. It starts out with a prescription for knee, wrist or back pain. Slowly … Continue reading
Q: I have been thinking about the topic of self-esteem and self-love as the foundation of happiness. It seems like one cannot exist without the other, and are really one and the same. Is one a byproduct of the other … Continue reading
A graduate student in clinical psychology recently asked to interview me for a study he’s doing. Below are his questions and my answers, published here with his permission. Many readers have written in with these questions themselves, so I thought … Continue reading
A new study reported in the General Archives of Psychiatry suggests that differences in people’s brains make some people susceptible to hypnosis, and others not. The authors of the study maintain that there are no personality differences explaining the different … Continue reading