People who take something on and think, “How hard can it be?” almost always find the activity unexpectedly difficult. This is because you can’t take on something competently unless you’re motivated. If you love what you’re doing, it doesn’t seem … Continue reading
Reasons people don’t find a romantic partner, husband, wife, spouse, whatever? Here are several: 1) Not looking persistently enough. This means always being on the lookout, and always ‘following a lead.’ Yes, it can include dating services, but it also … Continue reading
The error of rationalism is thinking that an important idea can strike you without cause. Actually, an ‘aha’ moment can occur, although it’s usually not so dramatic and sudden. But even if such a thing did occur—’Yes, THIS is my … Continue reading
Q: Dear Dr. Hurd, I live in New York City, and while it’s a wonderful place to live, it’s filled with liberals who don’t share my political views. The problem is that while I’m not a liberal, I’m not some … Continue reading
We can actually choose our reactions, in the following way: We can choose to be continuously aware of our inner reactions, and to bend them to objective reality, or let them stand not subjected to reality. If you accept this … Continue reading
Ultimately reason, facts and logic are more powerful than fear. The fear only seems powerful, but it isn’t, and once you start to ‘get’ this, it becomes easier. Fear is an indicator that you are in danger—not necessarily physical danger, … Continue reading
Medication makes you forget. Cognitive psychotherapy helps you think. The first helps you escape reality. It makes sense if reality is bad, and is not in any way changeable. The second helps you face it, and is always a good … Continue reading
Q: Dr. Hurd, what do you think of the idea of staying in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the children? A: Here’s the problem with the concept of staying married/not staying married for the children’s sake. When you’re … Continue reading
A lot of frustration comes from the way other people act. Most can deal with the weather, but many have a hard time with frustration over dealing with other people, and what you believe or know their mistaken actions to … Continue reading
The more you act on feelings at the expense of reason, the worse you’ll feel — later.
Q: Dr. Hurd, how can I combat social anxiety? People think I’m strange and weird. I wonder if people even regard me as a human being. I feel like such an outcast! I always have. Any ideas? A: You really … Continue reading
In life, ask for what you want. Don’t expect it, as if you’re entitled — unless you are entitled (i.e. you paid for it, a contract was signed). Don’t refrain from asking unless there’s a valid reason not to do so. … Continue reading