Medication makes you forget. Cognitive psychotherapy helps you think. The first helps you escape reality. It makes sense if reality is bad, and is not in any way changeable. The second helps you face it, and is always a good … Continue reading
Q: Dr. Hurd, what do you think of the idea of staying in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the children? A: Here’s the problem with the concept of staying married/not staying married for the children’s sake. When you’re … Continue reading
A lot of frustration comes from the way other people act. Most can deal with the weather, but many have a hard time with frustration over dealing with other people, and what you believe or know their mistaken actions to … Continue reading
The more you act on feelings at the expense of reason, the worse you’ll feel — later.
Q: Dr. Hurd, how can I combat social anxiety? People think I’m strange and weird. I wonder if people even regard me as a human being. I feel like such an outcast! I always have. Any ideas? A: You really … Continue reading
In life, ask for what you want. Don’t expect it, as if you’re entitled — unless you are entitled (i.e. you paid for it, a contract was signed). Don’t refrain from asking unless there’s a valid reason not to do so. … Continue reading
To not care what other people think, you need an alternative. Your emotions are not enough; they’re not really an alternative at all. A strong alternative to what other people think is the notion of objectivity. Objectivity consists of what … Continue reading
Self-esteem refers to how you feel about yourself. Self-respect refers to how you treat yourself. Many talk a good game about self-esteem. Fewer actually put into practice the ideas that: “life is worthwhile, therefore I am worthwhile and my life … Continue reading
Shame is like static or interference in a radio, computer or television transmission. It serves no purpose. It gets in the way. Shame is not responsibility. Responsibility is adherence to reality and the willingness to hold in mind all the … Continue reading
The malevolent universe idea is the notion that life is by its nature difficult, hard and impossible. This attitude is caused by many factors, some of them personal and starting in childhood — for example, an all-pervasive sense that the … Continue reading
Q: Is there a way to harmonize conscious thoughts and emotions that conflict? A: It’s a process or habit developed over time. You identify a response that you know is irrational or mistaken, but it’s still emotionally present. You decide … Continue reading
It’s important to be rational. But what exactly does “rational” mean? A lot of well-intentioned people who mean to be rational don’t understand that the term refers to a method more than anything else. In other words, “rational” does not … Continue reading