Q: Dr. Hurd, numerous times you have written about how negative past events in our lives should not be a focus, regarding an excuse or justification for our current lives, correct? I was just thinking about this. So to apply … Continue reading
A reader writes: I certainly don’t deny the idea that it’s important to change false beliefs and implement correct ones, as you emphasize in your books and writings. However, I submit that this picture is insufficient. It leaves out any … Continue reading
Dr. Hurd: What is your thought on people who DISAGREE? I bring this up because many times people disagree. We disagree on many different levels. From music and artistic tastes, to ethics and morality. Not so much on the superficial … Continue reading
Putting off big decisions is harder than making them. Here’s why. When you put off a decision, you feel the lack of respect that comes from refusing to “step up” and take command of your own life. Think of how … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd, I am considering getting some psychotherapy. However, I was wondering if you could answer this theoretical question: Is it always possible to recover psychologically from profound breaches of integrity (i.e., acting against one’s deepest fundamental values)? I’m … Continue reading
A reader wrote in the following about my article on the irrationality of regrets: “Regret is a hard-wired involuntary reaction to a mistake. I prefer to believe Mother Nature than your line of reasoning. Regret ‘purifies’ our decision-making. A self-help … Continue reading
Regrets are pointless. People sometimes say or think, “I wish I had that situation to do over again. I’d do it differently.” What do you regret about the situation? That you made a mistake? If you made a mistake, then … Continue reading
‘Life’s not fair! I’m gettin’ a raw deal!’ We hear it just about every day. Life is neither fair nor unfair. Only people can be fair or unfair. ‘Fairness’ presupposes a set of concepts (or ideas) about justice, grounded in … Continue reading
Q: Your ideas on psychology and self-help make sense. I know they are rational, but I don’t always feel them. My logic is rational, but my feelings are not. What am I supposed to do? Just ignore my feelings? What … Continue reading
Conclusion of yesterday’s column. Rationalization # 3: ‘It’s OK to lie if the subject is nobody else’s business.’ This rationalization implies that if someone is violating your privacy, you have no other choice but to lie to them. If, in … Continue reading
Continued from yesterday’s column. It’s not enough to ask people, intellectually, if they subscribe to these rationalizations or not. They might say ‘no,’ they sincerely don’t agree with these statements. Yet they could still feel something different on the emotional … Continue reading
There are two types of liars. The first type does not feel comfortable with lying. He feels guilty for betraying other people with his lie. He also feels awkward because lying complicates his life and his mind. He has to … Continue reading