Dr. Hurd: “Forgive” in the Oxford dictionary is defined as “verb: stop feeling angry or resentful towards (someone) for an offence, flaw, or mistake.” Why would any therapist advise anyone to remain bitter and resentful towards anyone? Is that sound … Continue reading
Category: Psychology & Self-Improvement
Look Deeper than Prozac
Everybody assumes that forgiveness is good, whether the person is sorry or not, and regardless of what the person has done. “Turn the other cheek,” they preach. What they fail to consider is that once you forgive away something bad, … Continue reading
Psychology Does Messed Up Celebrities No Favors
Dr. Hurd wrote the following in an article entitled, “Charlie Sheen: Madness Manifest”: “[Charlie] Sheen is obviously some kind of nihilistic playboy who for whatever reasons now feels free to be his true self, to rant and rage as he … Continue reading
Is Bad Therapy Worse Than None? You Bet It Is
Empowerment consists of providing clients with the psychological tools to take charge of their lives as quickly as possible. It avoids the false alternative of silence vs. advice giving. The classic Freudian therapist says little to his client. On the … Continue reading
The Perils of “Victim Think”
People who haven’t been in psychotherapy often ask: ‘What does a psychotherapist do? What happens in psychotherapy? The answer to this question is that we help people identify what’s bothering them about other people in their lives, and help them … Continue reading
How to Keep Your Kids From Growing Up Brats
The best way to raise financially responsible children is to teach them cause and effect. This means giving them logical consequences and explanations for your decisions. Give them choices when you can. When possible, let them in on your economic … Continue reading
The Power You Don’t Know You Have
If you want to have more success, stop caring about what others think. And stop feeling that you’re obliged to do anything for another, aside from a responsibility you freely took on. These two errors undercut people more than any … Continue reading
Therapists Who Lie to Their Clients and The Clients Who Pay Them
I recently heard of an attack on cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy which I’ve heard before, although not recently. The reminder inspired me to write this column. First, to readers unfamiliar, let me remind you of what cognitive-behavioral therapy is. It’s the method … Continue reading
The Slippery Slope of Rationalization
Q: Dr. Hurd, What causes people to choose to perform an action that they know (consciously and subconsciously) to be morally wrong? I’m thinking, for example, of those who know, through the use of reason, that theft is a violation … Continue reading
Why the Holidays Are So Stressful For So Many
“The holidays are coming. It’s a time of complete emotional stress.” To say this is considered a self-evident truth. But why is it true? I maintain that holidays, while perfectly fine and pleasant, are not necessary for happy people. Happy … Continue reading
Suicide, Truthfully (Part 2 of 2)
Conclusion of yesterday’s column. Dr. Hurd: Reverend Swarthout is right that it’s senseless to blame yourself for the suicide of another. This is because the person who kills himself wanted to do so. It was his choice and he made … Continue reading
Suicide, Truthfully (Part 1 of 2)
A DrHurd.com reader sent me a clip of an article that ran in the Northwest (Illinois) Herald on November 13, 2010. It’s written by the Reverend Jim Swarthout, rector of St. Paul Episcopal Church in McHenry, Illinois. The reader suggests … Continue reading