When people are anxious, depressed or otherwise emotionally troubled, they seek to control their feelings. Unfortunately, the goal of controlling your feelings is at odds with one very important fact. Your emotions are the output — not the input. They’re … Continue reading
What is anger? Rationally and objectively defined, anger is an emotional response to a perceived or actual injustice. When you’re truly angry, you believe someone has done something wrong. “Wrong” is the standard to which you consciously (or subconsciously) subscribe. … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: After many years, I finally coaxed by boyfriend to go into therapy. He didn’t really want to do it, and in truth he’s doing it more for me. It’s been a few months now, but I don’t … Continue reading
Hi Dr. Hurd, I was visiting my chiropractor yesterday. Not sure how we got around to the topic, but I posed the question if she had millions of dollars, would she still work and be a chiropractor. Her answer was … Continue reading
Love is not sacrifice. When you love someone, you want them to be happy; not miserable. When you love someone, you want them to do something for you because they want to, not because it’s a sacrifice. You want their … Continue reading
A reader writes: My husband and I have been together for 17 years. I gained some weight over the last few years and our physical relationship became almost nonexistent. We are still very close; we cuddle and say nice things, … Continue reading
A reader writes: What does it say about a person who is prone to offering others unsolicited advice without a polite prompting of the shift of conversation? And why would the object of that unsolicited advice be understandably offended when … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd, I need advice on what to say to my husband of more than 10 years. He is in a complete snit because he’s starting to lose his hair. I couldn’t care less, and frankly I think he … Continue reading
Some people lie in order to gain something for nothing. The “gain” consists of money, property or respect from others. However, most people who lie don’t do so for this reason. Most people who lie do so out of fear. … Continue reading
A reader asks, “What happens if a client you see for personal help doesn’t agree with you on politics?” Psychotherapy isn’t about politics. So there’s no need to ever discuss it, not in sessions. However, politics is a branch of … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd, Everything seemed perfect when we first met 8 months ago. Now, my girlfriend is starting to get bossy and controlling. She interrupts me, finishes my sentences, and always seems to have a better way of doing everything. … Continue reading
A lot of times, people are looking for a “quick fix” to their problems, particularly emotional/behavioral or relationship problems. The common response is, “You can’t always have a quick fix. Life is a process, and problem-solving can take time.” This … Continue reading