The spanking article I wrote raised a lot of issues. Many of the comments were ones I predicted in the article. For example, ‘I spanked my child and he turned out all right; how dare you challenge spanking?’ Or, ‘How … Continue reading
Category: Psychology & Self-Improvement
Spanking Children: Pro or Con?
A reader writes: A new study was just released that concludes that spanking your child is tied to aggression down the line. With all of the concerns about bullying and if a child becomes violent when they grow up, the … Continue reading
Sticks and Stones Will Break My Bones…and Names Are Just as Bad?
‘Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me.’ True or false? False, according to what now passes for psychiatric expertise. One prominent media psychiatrist (Dr. Keith Ablow of Fox News) even goes so far as … Continue reading
Why Envy Cripples People and How to Combat It
Are envy/jealousy an indication of insecurity? Yes, but not necessarily in the way you might think. At the core, a resentful or envious person has the belief, ‘You can have this but I can’t. And that’s not fair.’ Such a … Continue reading
Visibility, Please!
What is psychological visibility, and how can one nurture it? A reader writes: It deeply affected me to read your recent article on ten tips for well-adjusted children, wherein you stated the goal of childhood is to come out feeling … Continue reading
Why Manners Reflect Who You Really Are
From a reader: ‘I read your recent Life’s a Beach on ‘Manners—Why Bother?’ with great interest. Why do you think some people acquire manners, while others don’t? Even little things, like returning phone calls or emails, or remembering what someone … Continue reading
Telling a Friend the Truth
Comments from a reader: I’ve had several good friends tell me that if they’re having a bad day and want to be told what they want to hear, they steer clear of complaining to me. Simply because I’m not going … Continue reading
Why Some People “Enjoy” Their Misery
A reader asks: Is it possible to enjoy feeling bad, and if so, what is the psychology behind that phenomenon? There are people who enjoy feeling bad. They won’t usually put it this way, but they do. Actually, I wouldn’t … Continue reading
Emotion Management 101
A reader writes: I have a question about obsessing or putting too much weight on emotions. The question to myself was, ‘What if I did not have emotions, how would I know if what I was doing was good or … Continue reading
“Escapism”
A reader asked for my comments on the psychology of ‘escapism.’ I’ve always found ‘escapism’ an interesting, if not misleading, concept. Usually, the term implies a value judgment. ‘You’re running away from something you should face, and that’s bad.’ Of … Continue reading
What’s Wrong With People?
A reader writes: Once I asked my daughter (12 years old at the time) what she would do if she were stranded alone on a deserted island (I was looking for some drive in her). She said she would die. … Continue reading
After the Affair…Now What?
Dear Dr. Hurd: I’m trying to understand why I recently had an affair. My wife found out and it hurt her greatly, as well as humiliating me. Can you help me understand why I did this? I’m not looking for … Continue reading