Are envy/jealousy an indication of insecurity? Yes, but not necessarily in the way you might think. At the core, a resentful or envious person has the belief, ‘You can have this but I can’t. And that’s not fair.’ Such a … Continue reading
What is psychological visibility, and how can one nurture it? A reader writes: It deeply affected me to read your recent article on ten tips for well-adjusted children, wherein you stated the goal of childhood is to come out feeling … Continue reading
From a reader: ‘I read your recent Life’s a Beach on ‘Manners—Why Bother?’ with great interest. Why do you think some people acquire manners, while others don’t? Even little things, like returning phone calls or emails, or remembering what someone … Continue reading
Comments from a reader: I’ve had several good friends tell me that if they’re having a bad day and want to be told what they want to hear, they steer clear of complaining to me. Simply because I’m not going … Continue reading
A reader asks: Is it possible to enjoy feeling bad, and if so, what is the psychology behind that phenomenon? There are people who enjoy feeling bad. They won’t usually put it this way, but they do. Actually, I wouldn’t … Continue reading
A reader writes: I have a question about obsessing or putting too much weight on emotions. The question to myself was, ‘What if I did not have emotions, how would I know if what I was doing was good or … Continue reading
A reader asked for my comments on the psychology of ‘escapism.’ I’ve always found ‘escapism’ an interesting, if not misleading, concept. Usually, the term implies a value judgment. ‘You’re running away from something you should face, and that’s bad.’ Of … Continue reading
A reader writes: Once I asked my daughter (12 years old at the time) what she would do if she were stranded alone on a deserted island (I was looking for some drive in her). She said she would die. … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: I’m trying to understand why I recently had an affair. My wife found out and it hurt her greatly, as well as humiliating me. Can you help me understand why I did this? I’m not looking for … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: I work in the Washington Navy Yard, the scene of the recent shooting. I understand the reasons why I’m physically feeling the way I am (sleeping poorly, eyes scratchy, throat feels like I’m holding back tears, chest … Continue reading
Don’t you believe in flying saucers, they ask me? Don’t you believe in telepathy? — in ancient astronauts? — in the Bermuda triangle? — in life after death? No, I reply. No, no, no, no, and again no. One person … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd, If someone who’s young and immature stops drinking alcohol, and abstains for years, and later becomes mature and mentally healthy, can that person now drink normally? Dr. Hurd’s reply: There’s honestly no way to know, unless you … Continue reading