In response to my recent article on how alcoholism is not a disease, it’s less interesting to learn that some people disagree than with how they disagree. When somebody disagrees with me, I try to identify where they find the … Continue reading
There’s a prevalent fiction that mental health treatment can be “forced” on unwilling participants and, in the process, eradicate or diminish irrationality — including homicidal intentions — within a person, even without that person’s consent. Whenever there’s a shooting, as … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd, My wife and I retired to a nice, waterfront area about a year ago. In a nutshell, I’m just not very happy. It doesn’t have to do with anything specific; I love my wife, we adore our … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: I have two questions which are kind of related. One, is it possible to have a friendship with someone to whom you’re attracted romantically and sexually, even if they’re not interested that way in return? And two, … Continue reading
“I can only work under a deadline.” Is this a good thing, or a bad thing? It’s actually a good thing. A deadline implies a goal, or a purpose. Purpose-driven activity is the only kind that can sustain itself. A … Continue reading
Is it an act of “intimidation” against others if they find you too attractive? Consider a story reported at pjmedia.com on 3/20/14: In her first workout since being injured in a car accident, Tiffany Austin said she couldn’t wait to … Continue reading
One of the most common things people ask a psychotherapist like me about is motivation. “I should be doing such-and-such. But I’m not. I don’t feel motivated. Am I depressed?” Right there, in asking such a question, you’re revealing that … Continue reading
We basically have two ways of dealing with other human beings: reason, or force. This fact has social-political implications. But it also has implications for daily life in families, business or other personal relationships. To most of us, force is … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd, My partner and I are good friends with another couple. (We’re both in lesbian relationships.) Recently, one of the women in that relationship started paying (what I believe to be) inappropriate attention to my girlfriend; sending personal … Continue reading
Emotional abuse is a fancy, clincial term for simply being mean. According to healthcentral.com [1/8/13], there are numerous indications you might be in an emotionally abusive relationship. Examples include: “Emotionally abusive spouses want you all to themselves. They do not … Continue reading
When dealing with someone younger — or older — many people mistakenly make age the primary factor. For example, “You’re younger than I am. You have no idea what I’m talking about.” Why does age have to be the primary … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd, Everything seemed perfect when we first met 8 months ago. Now, my girlfriend is starting to get bossy and controlling. She interrupts me, finishes my sentences, and always seems to have a better way of doing everything. … Continue reading