…ms (such as an internal morphine release gland, let’s say) to cope with an environment our hunter-gatherer systems are completely ill-equipped to deal with.’ It’s an interesting theory. And, as it stands, probably true. But the question remains: How are we supposed to deal ‘in the moment’ with feelings of rage that might stem from a sense of being out of control? People who regularly cope with traffic tell me things like, ‘I put on my favorite mus… Continue reading →

…istinguish between “want” and “need.” The teenager may claim to ‘need’ the latest video game, and the parent must be prepared to inform the teenager that he or she is wrong. This won’t make the parent popular, but it will make for a more realistic and less ‘entitled’ young adult. Unfortunately, many parents don’t take this approach, and this can lead to difficulties in the real world where the best of everything is not just handed out. In some cas… Continue reading →

…adult by treating him as a child if he has, in fact, been functioning as a competent member of a college community. Some discussion about rules and boundaries will be inevitable. But don’t say something like, ‘You’re in my house again, and now you’re going to have to live by my rules.’ If you’ve figured out how to enforce rules for a nineteen-year-old against their will, then my hat is off to you. But since most parents can’t do this, I suggest a… Continue reading →

…ut a price on these activities, and you can’t excuse away their absence by coming up with a complicated-sounding psychiatric label. Young children will not develop a happy and confident sense of life unless adults consistently communicate it through language and behavior. Pills cannot accomplish this. Time and effort will. Children must be shown that their minds and thinking skills—not cool backpacks and iPods—are the most crucial components of se… Continue reading →

…like it’s possible to (over)do anything in a neurotic, irrational way. For example, a person with psychological problems will clean the same things over and over, knowing everything is fine but feeling a compulsion to do so anyway. But for most people, that isn’t what cleaning is about. New York psychologist Vivien Wolsk, Ph.D., puts it very well: ‘There’s something relaxing, even meditative, about these chores. When we clean, we have a visible im… Continue reading →

…lly depressed people to think more like this. Marvin Zuckerman, Ph.D., a researcher commenting on the subject of risk in Psychology Today, agrees: ‘Although risk-taking has negative aspects and can even prove fatal, it is a positive force as well. Without risky experiences, humanity would stagnate; there would be little impetus for discovery.’ He is, of course, right. Every positive step in the history of mankind involves someone, somewhere, takin… Continue reading →

…ms (such as an internal morphine release gland, let’s say) to cope with an environment our hunter-gatherer systems are completely ill-equipped to deal with.’ It’s an interesting theory. And, as it stands, probably true. But the question remains: How are we supposed to deal with feelings of rage—feelings that stem from a sense of being out of control—at least in the immediate moment? People who cope reasonably well with traffic, for example, tell m… Continue reading →