While counseling people who have lost someone of value, I’ve learned so much about what they want (and don’t want) to hear. Most often, people who have experienced a tragic loss simply want you to “be there.” They need you … Continue reading
English novelist George Eliot wrote, “Animals are such agreeable friends. They ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.” In this chatty age when anybody can mount an electronic soapbox and spout off, the quiet demeanor of a pet is a … Continue reading
A reader emails that her boyfriend expresses no preferences or opinions regarding pretty much anything. She’s beginning to feel resentful about it, and asks if it’s wrong to resent a love interest who consistently does this. It’s hard to believe … Continue reading
A reader emails about a delicate situation: She and her husband are empty nesters, both with professional careers. Her career in the arts is unstable by nature, and the loss of that job is imminent. Her husband is happy in … Continue reading
‘Tiz the season to be scary! This is the week for goblins, ghosts and whatever else might strike a little fear (and maybe some fun) into the Halloween season. Pretty much everyone has something that they simply do not want … Continue reading
Halloween is a great time to be challenged by your fears and to take risks! The spooky excitement of this week got me thinking of the many people who make it their business to jump out of airplanes, drive in … Continue reading
As the holidays approach, people will begin to ask me about greed and why the season is so “materialistic.” Well, I don’t believe there’s such a thing as “materialism.” All of us need and want material things. It’s only a … Continue reading
At season’s passing, our busy resort it turns back into a small town. And one of the most common complaints I hear is, “Everybody knows your business.” Though it’s certainly a widespread feeling, it’s not really accurate. Nobody knows your … Continue reading
People often ask me, “What does a psychotherapist do? What happens in psychotherapy? The short answer is that a skilled therapist can help people identify what bothers them about other people in their lives, and then help them figure out … Continue reading
People occasionally confide to me that they don’t believe in psychotherapy. When I ask them to clarify, it often boils down to the idea that therapy requires “uncritical belief.” Sadly, that’s true of many things nowadays, but it’s certainly not … Continue reading
A Delaware Coast Press reader asked me the difference between an “irrational” (her words) avoidance of people versus true and healthy solitude. To figure out what’s irrational, you have to back up and define what kinds of interactions with other … Continue reading
A lot of people like to read peppy little affirmations first thing in the morning. But some clients tell me that fluffy, hyperbolic one-size-fits-all platitudes feel like nothing more than false hype. That annoyance can make it difficult to absorb … Continue reading