A reader sent me a comment about one of my columns where I suggested that the biggest mistake people make is to try to change others. She agrees that the choice of what to think and do will always be … Continue reading
Category: Life’s a Beach!
Your Assumptions May Be Wrong
Regulars here at Life’s a Beach! know that I regularly refer to the term “cognitive therapy”. Has an impressive scientific ring, don’t you think? But aside from sounding official, just what is it? People ask me, “Cognitive therapy is all … Continue reading
How to Take Charge of Your Own Mind
A reader emails: “Dear Dr. Hurd, my brother is 32. He doesn’t work. He, his wife and daughter live with our mother. They scrape by on disability, food stamps and our Mom’s generosity. I believe that his disrespect and mooching … Continue reading
Why Makes “Doing the Right Thing” Right?
The craziness of the last few of years has created a situation where potential retail and restaurant employees will sometimes present glowing resumes, then don’t come close to living up to what they claimed they knew – assuming they showed … Continue reading
When “Please Be Supportive” Really Means: “Please Agree With Me”
It’s important to be careful about the way we phrase things when talking about ourselves or others. And “being nice” has nothing to do with it; the way we phrase things has an impact on how we view them, and … Continue reading
How to Use a “Friendship Test”
I recently received an email from a woman who told me that she was thoroughly fed up with a friend of hers. She just didn’t enjoy being with him any longer. Though she had already decided to back away from … Continue reading
Mental Health Terminology: Part of the Problem
Recent medical/psychological studies are finally suggesting what I’ve been saying for years: Much of the psychobabble surrounding fashionable labels like “ADD”, “ADHD”, etc. are nothing more than haphazard “diagnoses” of teenagers’ behavior, triggering a flurry of needless prescriptions that benefit … Continue reading
Singlehood & Loneliness: Not the Same Thing
A question I hear almost daily is what factors or behaviors can prevent one from finding a loving relationship. The answer boils down to a combination of reasons, the first of which is simply not searching persistently enough. One must … Continue reading
If A Loved One Has Alzheimer’s …
I ran this article several years ago, and even to this day I get requests to print it again. And no wonder: With people living longer, many of us are members of the “sandwich generation”; taking care of our own … Continue reading
Why Jealousy/Envy Make No Rational Sense
A Delaware Wave reader emails that she’s resentful over other people’s success. Rich people, TV stars, neighbors who are thriving in business … she feels they are all bringing her down with their accomplishments. Imitation may be the sincerest form … Continue reading
To Exercise Willpower, You First Need Mind Power
How often have we heard – or even said, “I’ve had a hard day. I need a drink!” Or, “I need a nice big meal — and a cigarette….” In the face of stress, it can be tempting to self-medicate … Continue reading
Live IN the Moment, Not FOR the Moment
Clients often tell me that they feel like they’re never going to get caught up. They worry about how (and when) they’re going to achieve all the goals they’ve set for themselves. In other words, “I’ll get to it next … Continue reading