A Delaware Wave reader asked me the difference between an “irrational” (her words) avoidance of people versus true and healthy solitude. To figure out what’s irrational, you have to back up and define what kinds of interactions with other people … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd, I am a straight male who is attracted to a woman who is bisexual. She is also attracted to me. I want a committed, monogamous relationship, but am uneasy about making such a commitment with her because … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: My brother is 32. He has never held a job a job for longer than a couple of weeks and he, his wife and daughter live with our mother. They scrape by on disability, food stamps and … Continue reading
This may sound strange coming from a therapist, but I’ve come to resent the self-help babble you find in the bookstore or worse yet on daytime TV. My gripe is with the emphasis on “how to”. “How to” feel better. … Continue reading
Regulars here at Life’s a Beach! know that I describe myself as a cognitive therapist. Has an impressive scientific ring, don’t you think? But aside from sounding official, just what is it? People ask me, “Cognitive therapy is all well … Continue reading
Many people assume that mental health is a matter of either medicine or moral weakness. The medicine side assumes that pills can eradicate mental illness. The moral side assumes that troubling emotions stem from weakness of character. Neither side is … Continue reading
I received an email from a teenager who tells me that his parents treat him more harshly than they treat his older brother. They are not abusive, but they consistently hold him to a stricter standard. His brother gets Cs … Continue reading
All the recent publicity about criminal acts in schools and elsewhere is inevitably accompanied by some of the victims commenting publicly that they “hope someone will put the criminal on a better track.” Unfortunately, research over the years has exposed … Continue reading
People ask me all the time, “So what’s better? Psychiatric drugs or talk therapy?” Regular visitors to this page know that ideas and thoughts are the cause of emotions and actions, and that psychiatric drugs cannot be the primary tool … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd, My mother is 89, lives alone, doesn’t drive, and is in pretty good health. Since she moved here, she has become very manipulative. She exaggerates her hearing and vision problems, and invents situations to get what she … Continue reading
Is it a sign of true friendship to ignore a friend’s flaws? Not necessarily. If someone is your friend, doesn’t it make sense to try and stop her from making a mistake? You can’t control her or do her thinking … Continue reading
I have a friend who has been single for years. She is attractive and popular. In spite of her independence, she very much hopes to one day be in a comfortable relationship, maybe even get married. A worthy goal, but … Continue reading