The craziness of the last couple of years has created a situation where potential retail and restaurant employees will sometimes present glowing resumes, then don’t come close to living up to what they claimed they knew – assuming they showed … Continue reading
Category: Life’s a Beach!
Excel at your Work and Success will Follow
A growing volume of research appears to indicate that self-esteem might not be all it’s cracked up to be. Studies have shown that many people – from valedictorians to low-achieving students and everyone in between – think quite highly of … Continue reading
Let the Facts Guide your Opinions
In the current political climate there’s no lack of opinions. Many of them fall into the category of, “She never lets facts get in the way of her opinions.” People often say, with contempt, “He’s opinionated,” as if the expression … Continue reading
Accepting Change is Not an Indication of Failure
A reader emails that her father used to tell her to “not be a quitter.” But when she realizes she’s fighting a losing battle, she feels guilty just “letting it go.” She asks at what point being a quitter ends, … Continue reading
Appeasement is a Dead-End Street
Many people are trained to believe that it’s always right to compromise, i.e., to meet the other person halfway. That might sound nice, but in my experience it doesn’t always work. In my experience, two things must be true before … Continue reading
Use The Friendship “Test” for Your Peace of Mind
A reader emails me about disagreements she has with her friend. Their differences are on fundamental levels, and she wonders if there is a point that two people reach when the gap between their values is simply too wide. She … Continue reading
HOA Meetings and the Problem of Difficult People
‘Tiz the season for HOA and condo meetings! It also signals a flurry of emails to me with questions/comments about difficult people. For example, this one: A Delaware Coast Press reader tells me that her new HOA president is just … Continue reading
The Actual Meaning of “Closure”
A Delaware Wave reader sent me a rather anxious email. He’s seeking “closure” from his girlfriend who recently dumped him. Closure is a vague but popular concept that hopes for a neat, painless ending along with the detached perspective of … Continue reading
Sounding Boards are Good for People
People occasionally confide to me that they don’t believe in therapy, life coaching or any kind of professional help. When I ask them to clarify, it often boils down to the idea that such help requires “uncritical belief.” Well, that … Continue reading
Dwelling on the Past is Not “Dealing” With It
Pop psychology (mostly in the vast wasteland of daytime TV) loves to tout psychotherapy as “dealing with the past.” At least part of that comes from the feel-good prattle that pervades shows like Oprah, Ellen and the like. But when … Continue reading
Triangulation in Marriages
The “stay-at-home” trend has generated some interesting comments from my clients. Some couples are finding that all this togetherness isn’t quite as easy as they thought it might be. Many seek advice about this, but the truth is that marital … Continue reading
Thinking is a Skill. Use It!
A Cornell University study asks, “Why do teens do stupid things?” My response: “Well, not so fast.” Not all teens do stupid things. There’s nothing about being young that makes stupidity inevitable. It’s true that teens don’t have the knowledge … Continue reading