I’ve always liked the saying, “If it were easy, everybody would be doing it.” Sadly, the natural response to that is often, “Well, it must be nice to have… [whatever they resent your having earned].” A successful person doesn’t just … Continue reading
Category: Life’s a Beach!
Learning New Things is Strength, Not Weakness
Not every client I see presents with a major crisis. Sometimes a person just needs someone to talk to. But if it’s bothering them, then my job is to try to help them as much as I can. One recent … Continue reading
Labeling People is Not a Solution
A reader of this column emails that her relative, a young woman of 19, has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She asks if it is a valid diagnostic label or just another excuse to justify bad behavior. Psychiatrists define bipolar … Continue reading
Life is Not Static
It’s sad but true, and it happens all the time: A couple gets divorced. There are no kids, and it’s not about money. The problem is that their friends take sides: They shun one of the partners with no explanation. … Continue reading
Beware of Those Who Suggest You ‘Get Help’
A reader emails, “My family has been encouraging my brother to seek psychotherapy for problems we feel that he has, and his doctor agrees with us. My brother is resistant to that, and we can’t understand why he doesn’t see … Continue reading
The World Owes You Nothing
A reader emails, “I have friends who are in relationships and have no qualms about cheating. If I even had a partner, I’d be respectful of him and would never lie. It just doesn’t seem right that they get to … Continue reading
Shocker! Self-Interest is Good for Your Mental Health
People often tell me that they feel used because someone gets something out of being with them. But wait … there’s nothing wrong with self-interest! Every relationship, whether business or personal, needs to be mutually beneficial. However, choosing to intentionally … Continue reading
First Take Care of Yourself
The subject of addiction has been perpetually bogged down in inane political correctness and “feel-good” labels. But no matter how you label it, America is an addictive society. My definition of addiction has grown out of almost 40 years of … Continue reading
Playing the Victim is Unhealthy
Depression, anxiety and anger management get a lot of press, but what about bitterness? Things seem to be looking up for the bitter among us: The American Psychiatric Association (APA) has considered classifying bitterness as a mental disorder. A statistic … Continue reading
Excuses Don’t Cut it With Thieves
The news from some big cities regarding rampant shoplifting is disturbing – even to the point where major stores are closing for good in certain areas. But stealing has been around for a long time, and our seemingly safe Cape … Continue reading
Listen Well to Advise Well
When facing an important decision about relationships and other personal issues, it’s often best to consider your own advice first. After all, who’s better suited to know what’s right for you than … you? Recently, I spoke with a friend … Continue reading
A Logical Mind Makes for Clear Memories
Memory problems are frustrating. People joke about “senior moments” while others worry about the possibility of dementia. Dementia is actually a disease of the brain, but normal memory ultimately has more to do with how you manage (or don’t manage) … Continue reading