A popular misconception about psychotherapy is that it’s just about one’s past. This probably stems from the clichéd image of the bearded Freudian psychoanalyst quietly dozing in his leather chair – not to mention the circus parade of insipid “self-help” … Continue reading
A reader emails me about disagreements she has with her friend. Their differences are on fundamental levels, and she wonders if there is a point that two people reach when the gap between their values is simply too wide. She … Continue reading
A Delaware Coast Press reader writes, “My husband and I (we have no children) have been happy for the last four years. But now, he has suddenly become Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He’s fine one minute, then in response … Continue reading
Sage words from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow: “We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.” And it works both ways! If you underestimate your potential, or if you ignore … Continue reading
Thanksgiving is a time to be grateful. That sounds very nice, but it’s a bit too general for my taste. I like to look at Thanksgiving as a time of perspective: To think about what’s right, both with the world … Continue reading
We all know people who dwell on the negative aspects of things. They set their sights low, curb their expectations, and hope it will keep bad things from happening to them. That mindset is called “magical thinking.” Examples include rituals … Continue reading
Two approaches to life characterize the majority of human interactions. One is the adversarial mentality; the other is the realistic mentality. The adversarial mentality rests upon illogical but (to some people) emotionally appealing ideas about how human beings get along … Continue reading
It’s easy to lose perspective when you have doubts about your relationship. But sometimes a temporary setback can be mitigated by asking yourself one question: “Does my relationship/marriage make my life better than it otherwise would be?” In other words, … Continue reading
People occasionally confide to me that they don’t believe in psychotherapy. When I ask them to clarify, it often boils down to the idea that therapy requires “uncritical belief.” Though that’s sadly true of many things nowadays, it’s certainly not … Continue reading
With the spectre of the Black Friday Christmas shopping on the horizon, I always receive reader emails saying that they don’t get the idea of gift giving for the sake of gift giving. They all make reference to the midnight … Continue reading
A motivational speaker candidly writes, “I often bring a magic wand to my face-to-face seminars and university classes. The audience usually emits a loud chuckle when I ask for a volunteer and proceed to wave my magic wand over their … Continue reading
The idea of being abandoned, in just about any context, is awful. And interestingly enough, it ends up being a fairly common topic of conversation in my office. Let’s take a closer look: When therapists speak of “abandonment issues”, they’re … Continue reading