So many people say to me, “Why is it that what I can’t have, always seems more appealing than what I can have?” The answer is easy: Wanting what you can’t have is the easy way out. In other words, … Continue reading
A popular misconception about psychotherapy is that it’s all about one’s past. This probably stems from the clichéd image of the bearded Freudian psychoanalyst quietly dozing in his leather chair, further bolstered by the circus parade of insipid “self-help” authors … Continue reading
Clients often ask me if the children (or adults) in their lives are just looking for attention when they “act up” or become emotionally distraught. This is often true, but the goal isn’t attention as much as what I call … Continue reading
People often ask me how they can find an effective therapist in their area. Of course this gives me a great opportunity to promote my book, “Bad Therapy, Good Therapy (And How to Tell the Difference).” Short of ending this … Continue reading
A reader asks: “Trust your gut. What the heck does that even mean? People seem to be saying this more and more. Does my gut have a brain?” Though the irony isn’t lost on me, what we call “our gut” … Continue reading
One of the subjects most often brought up in my office is how to deal with toxic, psychologically damaging relationships. Kristen Fuller, M.D., writes: “I myself had all the tools to avoid a toxic relationship, but I entered into an … Continue reading
The last couple of years have been stressful for everyone. But I’m finding that a surprising number of friends and clients used some of that unwelcome … “leisure” time … to accomplish things that they had been putting off. They … Continue reading
I received an email from a Delaware Wave reader. She has a 24-year-old son who has no friends (beyond those he has met online), no girlfriend, no driver’s license, no job, nothing. He parrots much of the Facebook and mainstream … Continue reading
We often hear the saying, “He pushes my buttons.” Or, “She knows how to manipulate me.” But what do these complaints really mean? Steven Stosny, Ph.D. at psychologytoday.com states that “Emotions move us.” Indeed, the Latin root of the word … Continue reading
One of the biggest problems in relationships is the assumption that there’s a conflict of interest – when in fact, the partners have unnecessarily adopted an adversarial mindset. When I work with couples, I find myself saying over and over … Continue reading
When dealing with others, it’s important to be careful about the way we phrase things. And “being nice” has nothing to do with it; the way we phrase things has an impact on how we view them, and sometimes it … Continue reading
I received an email from a reader who tells me that her boyfriend expresses no preferences or opinions regarding pretty much anything. She’s beginning to feel resentful about it, and asks if it’s wrong to resent a love interest who … Continue reading