How can I say that addiction is a choice, rather than a disease? Let’s put it this way. When addictive behaviors end, who or what does the ending? Some people end addiction by going into rehab. Still, once rehab is … Continue reading
The mental health and medical establishment promotes the idea that all emotions and behaviors are determined by brain chemistry. In reality some are, but many are not (and most are not exclusively). Most emotional problems are caused by people doing, … Continue reading
Sometimes doctors (or family members) refer patients or loved ones to therapy to fix something they — the doctor or family member, that is — consider a problem. The motivation for therapy is on the part of the referring party, … Continue reading
“Catastrophizing” refers to a psychological problem in which a person sees things as catastrophes which are not — and as a result always feels tremendous fear or sadness. In that regard, consider that nothing is a catastrophe if you’re here … Continue reading
People often write or ask me: “How do I handle a hostile person if the person is someone I otherwise like, love or value?” My reply: If someone is deliberately insulting or hostile, assume they know what they’re doing. (They … Continue reading
Goals are based on two things: (1) ‘What’s important to me?’ and (2) ‘What can I do to experience this important thing in my life?’ Make sure you remember the basics. People sometimes set goals ‘just because’ ‘just because others … Continue reading
When someone claims “I want to help you” or “I want to help him” what they often mean is: “I want to change you.” Another version is “I want her to get help” which really means: “I want her to … Continue reading
Q: I don’t think I understand your conclusion regarding “Career Like Marriage” [see Daily Dose of Reason for March 6, 2010]. Are you saying that by accepting less than one’s ideal romantic or career choices, one precludes the possibility of … Continue reading
A career choice is like a marriage. If you had 3 women (or men) from which to choose but you know you love none of them, then it makes sense to marry none of them. This is because you would … Continue reading
Think of your mind as a camera. You can focus the camera wherever you choose. You can fixate on one scene. Or you can diversify, moving from scene to scene. This is something you can consciously do. If it doesn’t … Continue reading
Finances and a general sense of overall ‘security’ are THE reason people stay in unhappy marriages, in my experience. That’s why I believe it’s important to never marry someone (much less have children) until you can afford the lifestyle you … Continue reading
Empathy is not something you feel on command. It’s only something that you feel towards someone of value to you, in some context. You don’t feel empathy for their sake. You feel empathy as a natural and logical outgrowth of … Continue reading