If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older. — Author unknown

Q: Dr. Hurd, how can cognitive therapists such as yourself say that you have responsibility for your feelings? I don’t feel what I feel on purpose! A: Your feelings are the consequence of your thoughts and ideas. In fact, your … Continue reading →

It’s reasonable to feel hurt and disappointed by people when they do disappointing things. However, it’s a complete mistake to apply these feelings, beliefs or standards to anyone new, or to people in general. Every person you encounter and meet … Continue reading →

The path to any difficult goal is, by definition — difficult. That’s where two virtues come in handy: Persistence and commitment. The definiton of persistence is obvious; it refers to sticking to your goal regardless of how you feel on … Continue reading →

It’s actually hard for everyone to form deep and meaningful relationships. They don’t come along every day. But the potential is always there. One of the great things about love is that it flourishes in all societies. No matter how … Continue reading →

How can I say that addiction is a choice, rather than a disease? Let’s put it this way. When addictive behaviors end, who or what does the ending? Some people end addiction by going into rehab. Still, once rehab is … Continue reading →

The mental health and medical establishment promotes the idea that all emotions and behaviors are determined by brain chemistry. In reality some are, but many are not (and most are not exclusively). Most emotional problems are caused by people doing, … Continue reading →

Sometimes doctors (or family members) refer patients or loved ones to therapy to fix something they — the doctor or family member, that is — consider a problem. The motivation for therapy is on the part of the referring party, … Continue reading →

“Catastrophizing” refers to a psychological problem in which a person sees things as catastrophes which are not — and as a result always feels tremendous fear or sadness. In that regard, consider that nothing is a catastrophe if you’re here … Continue reading →

People often write or ask me: “How do I handle a hostile person if the person is someone I otherwise like, love or value?” My reply: If someone is deliberately insulting or hostile, assume they know what they’re doing. (They … Continue reading →

Goals are based on two things: (1) ‘What’s important to me?’ and (2) ‘What can I do to experience this important thing in my life?’ Make sure you remember the basics. People sometimes set goals ‘just because’ ‘just because others … Continue reading →

When someone claims “I want to help you” or “I want to help him” what they often mean is: “I want to change you.” Another version is “I want her to get help” which really means: “I want her to … Continue reading →