Many people have this idea that the purpose of therapy is to ‘deal with the past.’ I suspect they get this idea from all those silly authors who appear on ‘Oprah’ and elsewhere. The interesting thing is: What does ‘dealing … Continue reading
Conclusion of yesterday’s column. Many people never talk to a therapist or read a self-help book. They nevertheless develop a stance of anger towards the rest of the world. Why? ‘Because I had a lousy childhood, and because things haven’t … Continue reading
Q: Dr. Hurd, you write a lot about deterministic thinking. What is deterministic thinking and how does it develop in people? A: Deterministic thinking refers to the subconsciously (or sometimes consciously) held viewpoint that a person is less in control … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: In your experience, are most psychologists and psychiatrists liberal Democrats? If so, why do you think this is? Is it because they are enamored with the idea that the government can forcibly commit people to psychiatric institutions? … Continue reading
Dr. Hurd: “Forgive” in the Oxford dictionary is defined as “verb: stop feeling angry or resentful towards (someone) for an offence, flaw, or mistake.” Why would any therapist advise anyone to remain bitter and resentful towards anyone? Is that sound … Continue reading
Everybody assumes that forgiveness is good, whether the person is sorry or not, and regardless of what the person has done. “Turn the other cheek,” they preach. What they fail to consider is that once you forgive away something bad, … Continue reading
Dr. Hurd wrote the following in an article entitled, “Charlie Sheen: Madness Manifest”: “[Charlie] Sheen is obviously some kind of nihilistic playboy who for whatever reasons now feels free to be his true self, to rant and rage as he … Continue reading
Empowerment consists of providing clients with the psychological tools to take charge of their lives as quickly as possible. It avoids the false alternative of silence vs. advice giving. The classic Freudian therapist says little to his client. On the … Continue reading
People who haven’t been in psychotherapy often ask: ‘What does a psychotherapist do? What happens in psychotherapy? The answer to this question is that we help people identify what’s bothering them about other people in their lives, and help them … Continue reading
The best way to raise financially responsible children is to teach them cause and effect. This means giving them logical consequences and explanations for your decisions. Give them choices when you can. When possible, let them in on your economic … Continue reading
If you want to have more success, stop caring about what others think. And stop feeling that you’re obliged to do anything for another, aside from a responsibility you freely took on. These two errors undercut people more than any … Continue reading
I recently heard of an attack on cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy which I’ve heard before, although not recently. The reminder inspired me to write this column. First, to readers unfamiliar, let me remind you of what cognitive-behavioral therapy is. It’s the method … Continue reading