One of the primary subjects that come up when couples are in conflict is simply how to make—or keep—a marriage happy for both parties. Probably the best way to ensure this is for both parties to remind themselves that they … Continue reading
Issues and misunderstandings about optimism are a major cause of depression, even in intelligent people. People fear that optimism means pollyannaism, wearing rose-colored glasses, and not being objective. Today, especially, it’s seen as ‘uncool’ not to be cynical and negative; … Continue reading
People often say: ‘Never, ever do business with friends or relatives.’ The precaution is worth noting. Yet if people paid more attention to the following issues, then doing business with friends and relatives might not be such a problem. Ask … Continue reading
The following is an exchange between Dr. Hurd and a journalist who found his article on excessive talking online. Q: Super talking. Why do people do it? Is it rude? Controlling? Is it ADHD (‘Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder’), OCD (Obsessive … Continue reading
Conclusion of yesterday’s column. In a personal relationship, the basic underlying principle is the same. Your spouse won’t love you if you’re always looking to start a fight. However, your spouse also won’t love you if you’re a doormat and … Continue reading
I often tell people to be aware of their expectations regarding spouses and romantic partners. The knee-jerk reaction is typically, ‘Expectations? I don’t have expectations!’ First of all, what’s wrong with having expectations? We all want and expect things. It’s … Continue reading
Q: Dr. Hurd, numerous times you have written about how negative past events in our lives should not be a focus, regarding an excuse or justification for our current lives, correct? I was just thinking about this. So to apply … Continue reading
A reader writes: I certainly don’t deny the idea that it’s important to change false beliefs and implement correct ones, as you emphasize in your books and writings. However, I submit that this picture is insufficient. It leaves out any … Continue reading
Dr. Hurd: What is your thought on people who DISAGREE? I bring this up because many times people disagree. We disagree on many different levels. From music and artistic tastes, to ethics and morality. Not so much on the superficial … Continue reading
Putting off big decisions is harder than making them. Here’s why. When you put off a decision, you feel the lack of respect that comes from refusing to “step up” and take command of your own life. Think of how … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd, I am considering getting some psychotherapy. However, I was wondering if you could answer this theoretical question: Is it always possible to recover psychologically from profound breaches of integrity (i.e., acting against one’s deepest fundamental values)? I’m … Continue reading
A reader wrote in the following about my article on the irrationality of regrets: “Regret is a hard-wired involuntary reaction to a mistake. I prefer to believe Mother Nature than your line of reasoning. Regret ‘purifies’ our decision-making. A self-help … Continue reading