When people reject the need for introspection as a ‘waste of time,’ they’re denying objective reality. The objective reality at stake is their consciousness. Consciousness consists of thoughts and feelings. Thoughts and feelings—including ones outside of awareness—are mental events. This … Continue reading
It’s drummed into our heads that true friendship and true love are selfless. Nobody attempts to practice this principle consistently. It would be ridiculous. Choosing a friend (or romantic partner) selflessly? Choosing a friend precisely because he shares none of … Continue reading
You hear it all the time, at least if you’re in a profession such as mine—where people hire you for answers, objective perspective, advice or feedback. One spouse or family member says the following about another: ‘When I tell him … Continue reading
‘I have no expectations.’ Or, ‘I didn’t know what to expect.’ (The implication being that ‘I had no expectations.’) People say this a lot. And they generally believe it when they say it; but it still cannot be true. Why … Continue reading
Nearly everyone seems to agree that self-confidence is a good thing. But few ever take the time to define it; or even ask what it is. The idea ‘self-confidence’ implies confidence OF something or IN something. The obvious implication is … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: What is it that happens to us mentally as we mature, that the mystique of events and accomplishments lose meaning and that emotional passionate edge we felt in our youth doesn’t ignite us any longer? For example, … Continue reading
A 2009 study of psychotherapy patients in the U.S. and Great Britain found that many patients are “subjected to a kind of dim-sum approach — a little of this, a little of that, much of it derived more from the … Continue reading
People say this all the time: ‘I know, intellectually, that such-and-such is true. But I don’t feel it.’ The next question is usually, ‘How can I make myself feel it?’ This is what reasonable people often expect a psychotherapist to … Continue reading
Sometimes, when children act up or adults become emotionally distraught, the question arises: Are they just doing it for attention? I would say yes, this is often true. But the issue isn’t ‘attention’ so much as visibility. People have an … Continue reading
A few months back, the owner of a popular specialty store in my town got into a little conflict with the owner of a neighboring store. The neighboring storeowner initiated the conflict with a rude and abusive phone call, rife … Continue reading
Q: How can I approach someone about their beer drinking without having them go on the defensive and possibly turning their back on me? I feel it is increasing because he lives alone and at present is not working regularly … Continue reading
It doesn’t take a village to know the truth. The truth comes from facts. Facts will form into concepts, and concepts can identify truths of reality via the use of logic. Any individual has the capacity for discerning truth, provided … Continue reading