The essence of ‘mental health’ is—at root—rationality. The psychological manifestation of rationality is serenity. Serenity does not refer to contact with a faith-based ‘higher power,’ although some will claim it does. Lying to yourself, or telling yourself things are true … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: Can you offer any advice on how to find a rational therapist in my area? Dr. Hurd’s reply: The complete answer to your question is found in my book, “Bad Therapy, Good Therapy (And How to Tell … Continue reading
I received an email from a website visitor on the subject of bullying. He’s in his thirties, and tells me that schoolyard bullying has had a profound effect on him since his childhood; causing him great distress in many areas … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: What’s the difference between shame and embarrassment? And does a highly confident person with self-esteem ever experience shame? Dr. Hurd’s reply: Embarrassment is an emotional state of intense discomfort with oneself, experienced upon having a socially unacceptable … Continue reading
It’s a mistake to look for ‘the techniques’ to make you break a bad habit—drinking, overeating, or whatever it is. There’s an error in asking the question, ‘What steps can I take to break my habit?’ The question implies that … Continue reading
One of the things I don’t understand is the reason most often given for not wanting a divorce. Or similarly, the way people look back on their former marriage as a “failure.” In reality, this usually isn’t true. Most often, … Continue reading
‘It’s not true unless someone else knows it or sees it.’ Actually, most would dispute this statement. But it’s surprising how many proceed or react as if it were true. Got a good grade on a test? Accomplished something special … Continue reading
Legitimate, rational judgment is the exercise of forming and holding opinions about individuals and situations based upon objective observation of the facts of reality, including generalizations based upon consistent observation of those very facts. The extent to which you allow … Continue reading
Most people with hoarding issues are not living in mile-high piles of junk, like you see on the television shows about hoarding. Nevertheless, hoarding tendencies are somewhat prevalent. The psychology behind hoarding is one of ‘holding on.’ People hold on … Continue reading
Why do people hold on to dysfunctional relationships? I’m talking about friendship or romance here. The latter is obviously more intense, but I find many of the issues are the same with both. The two most common reasons people hold … Continue reading
The way you label things is a reflection of the way you think about things — but also can control the way you think about things. Consider an example. “I have/suffer from depression.” There’s a world of difference between the … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: My mother is 91 years old. I left my home in another state to come and care for her but due to a heart attack and a broken hip she is now in a nursing home. I … Continue reading