Here’s a question people ask too infrequently in the area of romantic love: Do I admire and respect my partner/spouse? We are all taught that love means warmth, support, and sex. Of course romantic love does include these things. But … Continue reading
Category: Psychology & Self-Improvement
Why The Victim Role Appeals To So Many
Most people think of the victim mentality as something of a modern development. Perhaps some of its more bizarre manifestations have come to the surface in recent years. Today we do hear more about silly lawsuits and the plight of … Continue reading
Victim-Think and Excuse-Making: Not as New as You Think
Back in 1911, Edgar Farrar’s son, Edgar, Jr., was shot dead in New Orleans by a thief named Rene Canton. Canton was found guilty and the evidence was overwhelmingly against him. Canton was sentenced to death by hanging. However, the … Continue reading
Faith vs. Reason in the Minds of Children
A study published in the July issue of Cognitive Science determined that children who are not exposed to religious stories are better able to tell that characters in “fantastical stories” are fictional — whereas children raised in a religious environment … Continue reading
Teenagers Will ALWAYS Rebel: Myth or Fact?
Teenage rebellion and obnoxious behavior are considered a normal and universal part of growing up. But is this assumption valid? First of all, we have to distinguish between rebellion and individuation. Individuation refers to the inevitable and necessary psychological (and … Continue reading
Who Cares What Other People Think?
A number of readers ask: Why do I care so much for the opinions of other people? I am profoundly anxious about others’ opinions and judgments about me. What can I do to change this? The reason you want to … Continue reading
Why “Ego” — Falsely Defined — Gets Such a Bad Name
“It’s all ego.” “He did it out of ego.” “I don’t want this to be about ego. I want it to be about something better, or higher.” We hear these things all the time. Many of us even say this … Continue reading
Should Children Be Told They Can “Do Anything”, “Be Anything”?
Dr. Hurd, here is a related issue to what makes people succeed. I take issue with parents/teachers who tell their young children/students: “You can be anything you want to be in life.” Some of these adults add: “ … as … Continue reading
The # 1 Way (Not) to Ruin Your Life
A lot of people wonder what causes depression. One of the major contributing factors is a certain way of thinking. If I had to boil it down to a single phrase, I’d call it: victim-think. Another term, more popular in … Continue reading
The Real Reason Not to Panic about Ebola
The headlines read: Man falls ill with Ebola after arriving in Texas from Liberia. A reader and Facebook friend of mine wrote on her timeline: I’m not panicked about this, because I think the reason this disease spreads so far … Continue reading
What’s the “Messiah” Complex — And Why Do People Fall For It?
What leads to murderous mayhem? What is a “Messiah” complex, and why do so many fall for it, even if not always in extreme forms? Whether it’s Osama bin Laden, the leaders of the up and coming terrorist group ISIS, … Continue reading
What the Heck is Self-Esteem, Anyway?
A fellow psychotherapist writes, “I am wondering what your thoughts are with regard to famous cognitive psychotherapist Albert Ellis and his expressed hostility toward the concept of self-esteem, at least as he understands (or misunderstands) the term. As a psychologist, … Continue reading