Does integrity matter in romantic love? Without structural integrity, a building will collapse. A bridge without structural integrity will cause cars to plunge into the water. A ship without integrity will sink. A plane without integrity will fall out of … Continue reading
Category: Psychology & Self-Improvement
“I Can Quit Any Time I Want”
The prevailing idea about addiction is that it’s not a choice, but an illness. By and large, this idea is promoted by the mental health industry, the prevailing academic establishment, organized religions and Alcoholics Anonymous/Narcotics Anonymous. Yet are they right? … Continue reading
Why Couples Fight Over Money
Do you and your spouse argue over money? Perhaps you have heard of couples who find it helpful to have separate finances and bank accounts. What makes certain couples reach the decision to handle money in this way? Many reasons … Continue reading
“It’s a Jungle Out There” — Is Life Really Adversarial?
Two approaches to life, especially in the business or professional environment, characterize most human interactions. The first is the adversarial mentality; the second is the realistic mentality. The adversarial mentality rests upon a series of illogical but (to some people) … Continue reading
The Addict’s Attempted Short-Cut to Happiness
The addictive experience, according to drug and alcohol addiction expert Stanton Peele (see www.peele.net), is characterized as follows: 1. Powerful and all-encompassing; 2. Inspires a sense of well-being, such as through conveying an artificial sense of power or control; 3. … Continue reading
“It’s Not What You Know; It’s WHO You Know” … Fact or Fiction?
“It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” So goes conventional wisdom. This statement summarizes the dominant idea underlying many of today’s widely acknowledged social and psychological problems. To place an emphasis on who you know instead of what … Continue reading
Did “Fracking” Save the Day and Lower Gas Prices?
We finally have some good economic news: The price of oil (and therefore gas) is going down; way down. Wholesale oil prices dropped from about $100 a barrel to $66, but gasoline prices have fallen from near $4 a gallon … Continue reading
What to Do About Dysfunctional Co-Workers
Psychologytoday.com recently posted an interesting article entitled, “The 11 People We Love to Hate at Work” by business psychologist Steve Albrecht, D.B.A [11-26-14]. You can read the article for yourself. I’d like to go a little deeper, and a little … Continue reading
Divorce & Kids: Disaster or Transition?
Recently, several readers have asked if I’ve written anything on children and divorce. A few years back, I did this interview with my friend and associate Dr. Stanton Samenow, author of the now classic (and recently revised) Inside the Criminal … Continue reading
Are Marriage and Love Worth It?
When experiencing doubts about a relationship or marriage, here’s a question you might not have considered asking yourself: Does the existence of my relationship/marriage make my life better than it otherwise would be? It’s so easy to lose perspective; to … Continue reading
What Does It Mean to “Have” Narcissistic Personality “Disorder”?
Dear Dr. Hurd: I enjoyed your article “Owning Your True Feelings..” regarding passive-aggressive behavior. In the last paragraph, you wrote: “You can’t change passive-aggressive people, but you can make it a lot harder for them by being forthright and direct. … Continue reading
To Love Someone, You Have to Respect Them Too
Here’s a question people ask too infrequently in the area of romantic love: Do I admire and respect my partner/spouse? We are all taught that love means warmth, support, and sex. Of course romantic love does include these things. But … Continue reading