Increasingly, I hear parents and grandparents talk about an entitlement mentality in their grown children. This mentality manifests in many different ways. Sometimes it’s righteous and angry, but more often it’s simply a quiet expectation. “I can’t do this. You’ll … Continue reading
Category: Psychology & Self-Improvement
Please, Let’s Stop Using the Word “Depression”!
It’s time to get rid of the term “depressed.” The concept “depression” started out as a term used by psychiatry to designate a clinical syndrome or condition. In other words, it was supposed to describe the abnormal, the unusual, or … Continue reading
Does Love Make You Stupid?
“Do you have any articles about why love makes you stupid?” a reader asks. Love does not actually make you stupid. Here’s what sometimes does happen. You meet someone. You’re attracted to them — physically, of course, but for more … Continue reading
Translating “Transference” in Psychotherapy (in Plain English)
Transference is a universal psychological phenomenon in which a person’s relation to another person has elements which are similar to and/or are based on his or her earlier attachments, especially to parents, siblings, and significant others. In a psychodynamic treatment, … Continue reading
Does Romantic Love Require Resilience?
PsychologyToday.com has an article talking about, “Seven Things Resilient Couples Do Differently.” [Paula Davis-Laack, J.D., M.A.P.P. 2/28/14] There’s nothing wrong with what the article suggests. But I personally find a need to go deeper. With decades of self-help books and … Continue reading
Can “Mindfulness” Therapy End Violence?
First of all, wow. How refreshing to read these words from a fellow mental health professional — for once, not myself: Violence is not a product of mental illness. Nor is violence generally the action of ordinary, stable individuals who … Continue reading
Self-Esteem: How Much is Too Much?
Is it possible to have too much self-esteem? It’s commonly thought “yes,” and the definition of “too much” self-esteem is labeled narcissism. This may be well and good, but the question remains: How do we quantify the “right” amount of … Continue reading
Managing the Boss
Dear Dr. Hurd, I work for a charity. I answer to the executive director who makes me responsible for various fundraisers that I am expected to plan, advertise and set up. However, she then undermines me by either doing things … Continue reading
The Psychology of Status-Seeking
Dear Dr. Hurd: Many people seek mass wealth because it brings social status. Throughout history status has always existed in cultures. From kings and queens to tribal hierarchies. Even the animal kingdom has examples of status. Status appears to be … Continue reading
The # 1 Problem Making Most Self-Help Books Necessary
“If I back off and mind my own business, this means I don’t care.” I find this a recurring theme in the lives of many people, especially about their loved ones. Because of what I do for a living, I’m … Continue reading
Is It Ever OK to Lie to Your Kids?
All parents lie to their kids, claims a columnist writing for “Daddy Files” on Facebook [reprinted as “19 Lies Parents Tell Their Kids” at huffingtonpost.com 5/12/14] Says who? The writer-father, Aaron Gouveia, lists a number of lies (19 total) which … Continue reading
Affirmations: Self-Deceit or Inspiration?
A lot of people love to do affirmations first thing in the morning – to keep themselves feeling peppy and positive. I myself have some favorite go-to affirmations which I love. But, I gotta say, sometimes I’ve noticed that affirmations … Continue reading