The following is from my booklet, Self-Esteem and Other Tools for Rational Living: What is the emotional appeal of being considered a victim, since so many people—especially people like Betty—seem to like it? Being a victim is easy. It … Continue reading
Category: Psychology & Self-Improvement
Reason in an Irrational Era
The following is from my book Bad Therapy Good Therapy: And How to Tell the Difference: To accept the view of man as a rational animal does not preclude the fact that emotions are a normal and potentially beautiful … Continue reading
Forgiveness: The Misunderstood Emotion
So many people misunderstand forgiveness. You cannot forgive someone who’s not sorry. I repeat: You CANNOT forgive someone who’s not sorry. This isn’t merely an opinion. I’m not saying, “You SHOULD not forgive someone who’s not sorry.” That would be … Continue reading
“Kills Others, Then Kills Self”: Why Does This Happen?
“Police: Woman Shot 3 Victims at YouTube’s San Bruno HQ, Then Killed Self” reads the headline. It’s still a developing story, of course. Regardless, it’s obviously tragic. But already people are asking why someone would do this — kill themselves … Continue reading
Is Happiness Realistic?
How do you know if your standard of happiness is realistic? I hear a lot of people asking, “Do I want too much?” I know of two ways to answer this question. Does somebody you know, or know about, have … Continue reading
Why Political/Religious Discussions So Often Go Wrong
Why do people get hostile when fighting about politics, religion, etc.? The main reason: Because they take it personally. And usually this is a mistake. It’s understandable to feel or think: “If someone assaults one of my most important values … Continue reading
Beauty Matters
It’s really important to fill your life with beauty. Particularly because we live in such a cynical, hard-edged era. Beauty matters. And it can take on many forms. Art can be beautiful. It’s often trash or mediocre, but the classics … Continue reading
Why Not Everyone Gets Better in Therapy
Two factors make behavioral and emotional change difficult. One, the level of entrenched programming in your mind of the self-defeating, irrational or counterproductive thoughts. Two, the degree to which you’re motivated (or not motivated) to change yourself. Consider a substance … Continue reading
What It Means to “Take Things Personally”
What does it mean to “take things personally”? As if it’s automatically and always a mistake. The basic error is assuming it’s all about you, when it’s not. While from your own point-of-view, your own life is — and should … Continue reading
“Mining For Issues”: A Common Cause of Anxiety & Stress
The other day, I heard somebody use the expression “mining for issues”. The context was looking for trouble. Or looking for things to be anxious about, without realizing that’s what’s happening. The most self-responsible and reasonable of us are often … Continue reading
Why I Block People on FB/Twitter (And Why You Should Too)
Some people wonder why I block people with whom I disagree, whether the subject is government, rights, psychology or just life. They ask, “Don’t you welcome dissenting opinion?” Of course I welcome dissenting opinion. But that opinion has to be … Continue reading
What Happens When People Don’t WANT to Change?
Psychotherapy and psychological counseling refer to a process of self-change. However, not everyone wants to change. Even people in therapy don’t always want to change. Of course, psychotherapy clients want relief from their symptoms, depression, anxiety, and other painful emotions. … Continue reading