…e sure you’re clear and consistent in what you say, think and do. And feel free to examine the words of others in the same way. A lot of this has to do with thinking. People often ask me what a cognitive behavioral psychotherapist does, and I say that he or she invites you to look objectively at what you’re doing, saying and thinking. By subjecting your thoughts and statements to the honesty test, a skilled therapist can help you to help yourself…. Continue reading
…that will give you what you want. So let’s say you put your spouse to the test. “If she really loves me, she’ll do this thing that makes her miserable.” OK, so she does it. But what have you won? You might be satisfied that you are now loved, but you’ve caused him or her a certain degree of unhappiness. What does this say about your love for him or her, and what does it do for the connection you were trying to validate? Misery loves company. In o… Continue reading
…ears ago. It solidified during Obama. All that conservatives have left are freedom of religion (with most churches still shut down); nominal freedom of speech (with social media literally acting like government censors); and, still by and large, the actual right to own a gun. Right now, it looks like the shadow of a real, totalitarian dictatorship descending over America. Perhaps that’s where it will end. Maybe everyone, including the millions of… Continue reading
…rs of propaganda. These were not the actions of self-responsible “private” companies, a perfectly legitimate step in a free society. These were the actions of gigantic corporatists who act in lockstep with the orders of the dictatorial government — in the spirit not of fear, but of lustful obedience. It’s sickness and evil on a scale that neither Orwell nor Ayn Rand could have imagined. Normally, dictatorships rule based on fear. Eventually our di… Continue reading
…would bring is stagnation, starvation, despair, repression and conformity. Communism means the ABSENCE of value. Communism relies on destruction in order to make everything level. That’s why they sneer, jeer and celebrate when a man who actually stands for something virtuous becomes vulnerable. It’s revealing. Leftists proclaim a love of mankind, diversity and equality. In reality, they are riddled and torn apart by venom and hatred. They have NOT… Continue reading
…but in starting to round up, arrest and otherwise harass (IRS agents, for example) people who don’t comply with The State as they like. At this point, it will only be the governments of red states who can be appealed to, for some form of resistance. If you’re in a deep blue state, once the s**t hits the fan at the federal level (and that’s already starting), then you’re going to have even bigger problems if you don’t support The Party. Follow… Continue reading
…ation, power often includes a desire to get reactions from other people. A comedian, for example, elicits reactions through professional techniques that bring joy to people. Your power-hungry condo president, on the other hand, just wants to get a reaction, not really for any constructive purpose. Why? Because it makes him feel alive. Neurotic, unhealthy behavior is fueled in part by a need to shock, anger or irritate others just for the sake of d… Continue reading
…be, “I trust my instincts.” Such an approach overlooks two crucial areas: reality and reasoning. Reality always exists, no matter what we think, analyze, and no matter what our “gut” or instincts tell us. Reasoning is similarly inescapable. It’s not that you have to reason. You are free to go by gut, impulse, what others say (or what you think others say), what you believe God tells you, etc., etc. But the inescapable fact is that everything is b… Continue reading
…e sure you’re clear and consistent in what you say, think and do. And feel free to examine the words of others in the same way. A lot of this has to do with thinking. People often ask me what a cognitive behavioral psychotherapist does, and I say that he or she invites you to look objectively at what you’re doing, saying and thinking. By subjecting your thoughts and statements to the honesty test, a skilled therapist can help you to help yourself…. Continue reading
…ychiatrists began to apply it to just about anything that somebody found uncomfortable, none the least of which “non-combat PTSD” and PTSD following an abusive childhood. While it’s certainly unhealthy to ignore or minimize the effect of genuine trauma, it’s equally unhealthy to make the experience of trauma into a person’s defining characteristic. It saddens me to think of people approaching a psychiatrist or therapist for help, saying, “I want t… Continue reading
…This beats wasting precious hours doing something you don’t enjoy. When it comes to disagreement, it depends on the degree. For example, perhaps someone you know doesn’t believe in honesty, but you do. He lies whenever he feels like it. This can have very real consequences for your friendship. Why would you want to be friends with a liar? How will you know whether or not he’s lying? Many disagreements won’t take away from your friendship. “Bill an… Continue reading
…decision to tell her husband, with no pressure from you. This will be the test to demonstrate her willingness to move on. If one really wants something, one must first have to pay for it. If she can honestly tell you – and herself – that she would have left her husband anyway, with or without you in her life, then there’s no reason not to pursue a relationship with her. Beware of the term “homewrecker.” It’s often used to intimidate and create un… Continue reading