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Conflict Avoidance in a Relationship

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…happy relationship consists of two people who are getting what they want — simply by the other person being who he or she is. Conflicts are viewed as temporary and resolvable. It’s not expected that there will be dealbreakers, because each member of the relationship assumes (from overwhelming evidence) that each is getting and should be getting what’s satisfactory to him (or her). A healthy relationship, by this definition, does not refer to the a… Continue reading →

A Little Anxiety Can’t Hurt!

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…mselves to have, shields us from many dangers we might otherwise face. Put simply, it’s a lot less dangerous to live in a society with automobiles, grocery stores and satellite technology than to eke out an existence in a primitive jungle as a hunter-gatherer. Danger is an objective term, but also a contextual one. What we consider dangerous in a contemporary society is different from the dangers faced daily by someone unfortunate enough to be bor… Continue reading →

How to Get More Control Without Being Controlling (DE Coast Press)

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…e in control. The tension and anger this causes is proof positive that you simply cannot control other people. You can try – and your spouse, partner, teen or little one may pretend to comply – but it never works in the long run. So, what happens if you sincerely have a person’s best interests in mind and somehow need to get a point across? The healthiest thing is to let go, and focus on the influence you have over that person. Try to persuade him… Continue reading →

Apple vs. the U.S. Government: A Looming Battle?

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…le refused — not because it necessarily wanted to, but because it couldn’t comply. The iPhone and iPad maker reportedly told the feds that the service is encrypted, making it impossible for the company let alone the feds to access the data they demanded, unlike phone companies which, under US wiretap laws, are required to comply. The criminal case is under seal in an unidentified U.S. federal court. [zdnet.com 9/11/15] The government is not asking… Continue reading →

Green Light for Tyranny: It’s Your Fault, Americans

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…rationalizations. Are we supposed to surrender our very lives and liberty simply because the person taking those from us tells us it’s for our own good? What in the hell happened to Texas? What in the hell happened to America? Increasingly, there are no words. People who won’t fight back will simply get what they deserve. That’s not an opinion. It’s simply a fact. You can’t NOT communicate. By saying and doing nothing as your public officials los… Continue reading →

Gays/Lesbians Should Not Fall for Barack’s Gay Marriage B.S.

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…— so he can eke out a victory. The Republicans who oppose gay marriage are simply looking for a distraction. They cannot credibly oppose Obama on socialized medicine and Big Government when they have been almost as supportive (equally supportive, in Mitt Romney’s case) of this agenda over the years. Being against gay marriage not only gives them a wedge issue, but it also provides them a rare opportunity to show where they actually differ from lib… Continue reading →

Why Political/Religious Discussions So Often Go Wrong

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…arily, automatically and always an attack on you personally. The person is simply asserting that freedom from starvation is really important. You probably agree with this much. But does freedom from starvation mean that there’s suddenly a right to steal from another, or to hire government authorities to do the stealing for them? That’s a debate human beings will ultimately have to have, if we’re ever to have a totally free economy and free society… Continue reading →

Liberals are the True Conservatives

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…le who truly have anything of substance to say. They’re not idealists, but simply nihilists. They’re not the movers and shakers who will ever do anything to change the world as we know it. The real, and serious, intellectual activity is taking place on the right. The times are changing because nothing can ever stand still. Even Obama will eventually go. No, I’m not saying things are moving to the ‘right’ or to an Ayn Rand-like revolution. Most of… Continue reading →

Facts Always Come First

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…ir preexisting view of history and morality. Truly objective history would simply start with the facts. In fact, that’s what history is supposed to do. It’s supposed to show us the facts in their full context and either (1) leave us to draw our own conclusions, or (2) consider conclusions that are carefully argued from the full reporting of those facts. I’m not only talking about academic history here. I’m also talking about how people use history… Continue reading →

The DOs and DON’Ts of Dementia

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…not going to believe you. It’s better for yourself—and probably for her—to simply placate her. Tell her that Granny has the flu and cannot come in today. Tell her that Granny will be coming in a few hours, just be patient. Just make up different things until you find something that seems to placate her. If nothing placates her, then just change the subject. Don’t feel guilty for lying or manipulating in this way. Lying is wrong for a specific reas… Continue reading →

Dr. Hurd vs. Dr. Phil (Part 1 of 2)

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…life. They’re right to seek out this common territory; otherwise, why not simply stay single? A relationship is supposed to add to your life. To give up and conclude that no relationship can do such a thing turns marriage and family into selfless, unhappy and unfulfilling burdens. D.P.: ‘There are things that you and your partner disagree about and will continue to disagree about. Why can’t you once and for all resolve these issues? Because in or… Continue reading →

Being Normal Is NOT What You Want

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…not normal. Being IN or OUT of the majority is not a value judgment; it’s simply a statistic. Making a value judgment (about yourself, let alone about another person) is much, much harder than statistics. When people say, “I want to be normal,” they usually mean one of two things. One, “I want to be like the pack.” Two, “I want to be reasonable.” The latter case is benign. They’re simply confusing the word “normal” with “reasonable.” The first ca… Continue reading →