I often get questions about personal growth and how it changes relationships with friends, romantic partners and family. When people improve themselves in ways that increase their self-esteem and confidence, their relationships also change. Every person plays a role in … Continue reading →

Several readers have asked me to clarify the difference between short-term compromise and all-out self-sacrifice. More than one Life’s a Beach! column has emphasized that the latter should never be part of a marriage or any partnered relationship. A short-term … Continue reading →

A reader sent me a comment about one of my columns where I suggested that the biggest mistake people make is to try to change others. She agrees that the choice of what to think and do will always be … Continue reading →

Occasionally, a parent or a spouse will tell me that their child or partner ‘needs help.’ I ask them why they think that, and they either don’t answer me, or they say that they can’t get their loved one to … Continue reading →

Dear Dr. Hurd, I’ve been depressed for a while now. My doctor wrote me a prescription, and says my depression is a disease. But I feel that the problem is more emotional than medical. I hate the way the pills … Continue reading →

Dear Dr. Hurd, I read your column every week, and I like what you say. But sometimes, when I try to make suggestions to my husband or my adult children, it turns into an unpleasant ‘heated discussion.’ I am truly … Continue reading →

Few things are more annoying than being nagged (except perhaps being accused of it). Nagging comes from anxiety over the false belief that repetition creates motivation. It never does, and in fact, it lowers respect and reveals weakness by implying, … Continue reading →

How often have we heard — or even said, ‘I need a drink! I’ve had a hard day. I need a nice big meal — or a cigarette!’ In the face of stress, it can be tempting to ‘self-medicate’ with … Continue reading →

Are you a snob? Do you know one? What, exactly, is a snob? In order to know that, we first have to explore why people achieve success. There are two kinds of achievers out there. The first does it for … Continue reading →

I’ve always liked the saying, ‘If it were easy, everybody would be doing it.’ Sadly, the natural response to that is often, ‘Well, it must be nice to have” whatever you earned that they resent your having earned. A successful … Continue reading →

I speak to so many people — married couples, families, friends — who tell me they fight over money more than anything else. But after digging a little deeper, it becomes evident that the fighting is less about actual money … Continue reading →

Noted educator Maria Montessori once said, “Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.’ This beautiful statement has many implications for children and for education in general. I’d like to generalize a bit more … Continue reading →