An emotion is a decision after the fact. You don’t decide to have an emotion, but its very presence in your psyche is proof that some thinking has already taken place that you can either choose to embrace–or choose to … Continue reading →

I don’t believe in mystical devils and possessions. But I do believe in their real-life equivalents. People actually create their own demons. No, they don’t mean to do so–but they still do. How? Mainly by refusing to face facts in … Continue reading →

Those who have arguments provide facts, along with conclusions. Those who have none, provide insults. Matching insults with insults doesn’t prove you grasp the truth. It doesn’t do justice to the truth. It only shows you have no arguments, either. … Continue reading →

Awareness makes honesty possible. Self-honesty is critical. You will not tell the truth to others unless you’re in the habit of telling the truth to yourself. Yet to be honest about the truth, you must be aware of the truth. … Continue reading →

Q: Dear Dr. Hurd: In today’s culture, it is easy to be cynical. How can one not succumb to cynicism while simultaneously not being naive to the negativity or ulterior motives of people? A: The term “cynicism” implies a departure … Continue reading →

Children cannot always be reasoned with, it’s true. But this is no excuse for a parent to take a shortcut and refuse to apply reason with a child. With a fellow adult, you would give your reasons in an attempt … Continue reading →

A friend who asks how you’re doing, instead of talking only about himself, is a friend with the mental well-being to think about something other than himself. Don’t applaud him for being selfless. Instead, applaud him for being well put … Continue reading →

Manners are a product of civilization.   Widespread rudeness is the result of a civilization in decline. A person should be polite, although not for the sake of others. Living for the sake of strangers leads, quite appropriately, to resentment … Continue reading →

People typically look at the concept of independence this way: “If I do something by myself, alone, then I’m independent; if I do something at all in collaboration with someone else, I’m not independent.” This is erroneous. While being independent … Continue reading →

Being committed to growth means that you are willing to question yourself and others; to think philosophically and critically, rather than just react to events; and to go by reason rather than by sheer “instinct.” Being committed to lifelong personal … Continue reading →

People who dwell on regrets are making the error of granting the past too much importance. The reason I say “too much importance” is because nothing about the past can be changed by anyone. It’s self-evidently done, and over, by … Continue reading →

The biggest excuse I hear from people about not holding loved ones responsible for their actions is, “It’s not working.” For example: “My twenty-five year old son moved back in. He stays at home and doesn’t even seek out a … Continue reading →