Q: A lot of my friends and I are nearing retirement or seeking new horizons.  When we talk about new careers or jobs, we all come to the same conclusion: “I’m not qualified for the jobs I’m interested in, and … Continue reading →

Q: In your article, ‘Feeling Good is Not the Purpose of Life,’ you said that serenity is the preeminent goal of the human experience. Yet previously (in 2005) you had written the following: “Thanks to Ayn Rand, I came to … Continue reading →

Stanton Samenow writes in ‘The Myth of the ‘Out of Character’ Crime’: “No matter how grim the situation, no threat by an authority or anyone else can compel someone to change against his will. For meaningful and lasting change to … Continue reading →

Q: What should a day be judged by? How would a good day and a bad day differ?  Everyday is a new day and when we get to the end of it, as you have suggested in past columns, it’s … Continue reading →

Parents make numerous mistakes when raising their children. Examples include: Big Mistake # 1: Motivating the child with dogma rather than reason. In other words, “Do what I say,” rather than: “If you do X, then Y will happen.” For … Continue reading →

What is “group think”? It’s the opposite of individuality. Individuality resides in the independent use of your mind. “Independent” means objective, which means you independently use a rational method of thinking about people, situations and events. Rational does not necessarily … Continue reading →

I am a therapist, but I have come to resent the notion of “self-help.” One problem with “self-help” as we know it is that it emphasizes “how to.” A lot of people, in trying to cope better emotionally, ask questions … Continue reading →

People ask: “What does it mean to take responsibility for your emotions?” My answer: Learn to grasp, and accept, that feelings and thoughts are essentially the same thing. An emotion is part of your mind as much as your conscious … Continue reading →

Kathleen Parker of The Washington Post, writing of how the national debt could soon reach 90 percent of the gross national product, stated the following: “Pending catastrophe is not an easy notion to entertain, much less sustain. Americans moreover have … Continue reading →

Beware of people who misuse the word “help.” They will say, “You need to get help.” What they really mean, in most cases, is, “I want you to change.” Instead of taking responsibility for telling you what they think you … Continue reading →

Personal responsibility and mental health are closely interconnected. You don’t have one without the other. Case in point: The false, but widely held, notion that other people can “make” you feel a certain way. Not true! When you feel a … Continue reading →

The overriding goal of psychotherapy, and mental health more generally, is thought to be: Feeling good. In the realm of self-esteem, the goal is thought to be: Feeling good about yourself. In the realm of emotions and depression, the goal … Continue reading →