People ask: “What does it mean to take responsibility for your emotions?” My answer: Learn to grasp, and accept, that feelings and thoughts are essentially the same thing. An emotion is part of your mind as much as your conscious … Continue reading
Category: Psychology & Self-Improvement
Optimism Without Reality Won’t Save America
Kathleen Parker of The Washington Post, writing of how the national debt could soon reach 90 percent of the gross national product, stated the following: “Pending catastrophe is not an easy notion to entertain, much less sustain. Americans moreover have … Continue reading
When “Get Help” Isn’t What Someone Means
Beware of people who misuse the word “help.” They will say, “You need to get help.” What they really mean, in most cases, is, “I want you to change.” Instead of taking responsibility for telling you what they think you … Continue reading
Nobody’s “Making” You Feel Anything
Personal responsibility and mental health are closely interconnected. You don’t have one without the other. Case in point: The false, but widely held, notion that other people can “make” you feel a certain way. Not true! When you feel a … Continue reading
Feeling Good is Not the Purpose of Life
The overriding goal of psychotherapy, and mental health more generally, is thought to be: Feeling good. In the realm of self-esteem, the goal is thought to be: Feeling good about yourself. In the realm of emotions and depression, the goal … Continue reading
CAN Money Buy Happiness?
Money may not buy happiness, but money buys choices. And having choices contributes greatly to happiness.
You Feel What You Think–Whether You Know It or Not
Don’t give mistakes more power than they deserve. Usually, if you’re conscientious, you don’t make major mistakes. When you do, learn from them. Learn from them, but don’t dwell on them. Dwelling on them won’t change them and won’t make … Continue reading
The Good Counts Way More than the Bad
Don’t be too bogged down by bad, harsh or aggressive, nasty people. They’re weak. They don’t have much influence in the world, at least not the kind that’s of any use. They put others down, but they don’t create or … Continue reading
Ashamed? Clean Up the Mess!
Q: I know you wrote that shame isn’t productive, but I still have a problem with shame. I tend to dwell on regrets over my mistakes. How can I stop this? A: People make mistakes and the important thing is … Continue reading
Networking
Networking is part of successful business. There are basically three types of networking. One is to do good work, and let satisfied customers speak for themselves. Another type of networking is to make sure people know about your good work. … Continue reading
Marriage Does Not Equal Change
If you were buying a television, a house or an automobile, you wouldn’t deliberately buy one you knew didn’t meet your needs on the reasoning that, “Once I own it, it will change.” If appliances don’t change upon purchase, why … Continue reading
Tips for Better Sleep
The following are based on a review of the research and the experiences of many people I have encountered over the years: Get up at the same time every day. Wake up by the clock. That should be within one … Continue reading