In response to my last column, several people wrote in and asked: “Is pity an emotion of contempt?” My reply is that yes, pity is an emotion filled with contempt. Pity is not genuine empathy or compassion. Pity is based … Continue reading
Do traumas, tragedies, and difficulties make you stronger? I say: NO. It’s not difficulty that makes people stronger. What makes you strong are the habits of rationality and serenity which make difficulty bearable in the first place. You’re better because … Continue reading
Most people assume mental health is a matter of either medicine, or moral weakness. The medicine side assumes that medical treatment will eradicate mental illness symptoms, and that’s pretty much all there is to it. The moral weakness side assumes … Continue reading
Intellectually, people almost always agree with me when I claim, “You cannot control anybody else’s actions.” Yet, on the emotional level there is almost always resistance — in a few cases, even hostility. It’s always a red flag when a … Continue reading
Dr. Hurd: I’m at a crossroads and could use your perspective. I’ve fallen in love with my best friend. We’ve known each other for years. She’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever known. The catch: She’s married with kids and … Continue reading
Telling others what to do is an insult. It implies that the person you’re ordering to do something has no rational faculty of his or her own. If you went up to somebody and said, ‘You’re mindless. You can’t do … Continue reading
Q: This question is regarding your article, “The Biggest Mistake People Make” about changing people (see The Daily Dose of Reason 3/25/11). While the choice of action and thought will always remain with the individual, are we not affected by … Continue reading
Dr. Hurd: You wrote the following in a recent Life’s a Beach column: “The death of a beloved pet is certainly among the more difficult situations I face across in my office. I try to help people correct the mistaken … Continue reading
Some psychologists, and other moralistic alarmists, continue to be concerned about the presence of ‘too much’ self-esteem among today’s youth. They cite, as evidence, the responses of 16,475 college students nationwide who, between 1982 and 2006, completed an evaluation called … Continue reading
Continued from yesterday’s Daily Dose of Reason, concluding today. Defensiveness and Anger A final issue with anger involves defensiveness. Defensiveness is particularly relevant to marital or romantic relationships, though it can come up in friendships and business relationships as well. … Continue reading
Continued from yesterday’s Daily Dose of Reason When There Are No Solutions Another issue with anger involves the solution-oriented approach. Although focusing on solutions over being angry is a psychological cornerstone of anger management—for example, finding different routes to work … Continue reading
Continued from yesterday’s Daily Dose of Reason What are some antidotes to irrational anger? The most effective, but also the most difficult at times, is simply changing the way you think. Use your irrational angry outbursts—or the threat of one—as … Continue reading