Q: While I share your wisdom and identification of ideas as the cause of emotions and actions, I disagree on the subject of medicine/drugs as a tool for correction of negative thoughts or actions. I think anxiety and antidepressants can … Continue reading
Category: Psychology & Self-Improvement
For Better or Worse: You Are What You Think
People ask: ‘Cognitive therapy is all well and good. I’m fine with finding the nature of errors in my thinking. But what about the underlying causes of my problems?’ The error in this question proves exactly why cognitive therapy is … Continue reading
Honesty the Best Policy … For Self?
Dishonesty is widely considered “selfish.” The implication is that lying serves the self-interest of the person who’s deceiving. But does it? The moment somebody lies to a significant other in business or personal life, the obligation is on him to … Continue reading
Perfectionism vs.Happiness
What is a “perfectionist?” A perfectionist is someone with mistaken thinking. Perfectionism doesn’t refer to a quest for excellence, or a demand (placed on self or others) to get the best job done possible. Perfectionism refers to a neurotic fear, … Continue reading
The Fight for Freedom IS Freedom
Many ask: What’s the point of being positive if the world, including even the once great United States, is going to hell in a handbasket? My reply: If you give up in defeatism, there’s nothing left worth saving. If everyone … Continue reading
Don’t Give Up
Q: A lot of my friends and I are nearing retirement or seeking new horizons. When we talk about new careers or jobs, we all come to the same conclusion: “I’m not qualified for the jobs I’m interested in, and … Continue reading
Serenity Isn’t Supernaturalism or Emotionalism
Q: In your article, ‘Feeling Good is Not the Purpose of Life,’ you said that serenity is the preeminent goal of the human experience. Yet previously (in 2005) you had written the following: “Thanks to Ayn Rand, I came to … Continue reading
People Change if they Want
Stanton Samenow writes in ‘The Myth of the ‘Out of Character’ Crime’: “No matter how grim the situation, no threat by an authority or anyone else can compel someone to change against his will. For meaningful and lasting change to … Continue reading
Having a “Bad” Day
Q: What should a day be judged by? How would a good day and a bad day differ? Everyday is a new day and when we get to the end of it, as you have suggested in past columns, it’s … Continue reading
Mistakes Parents Make and Why They Make Them
Parents make numerous mistakes when raising their children. Examples include: Big Mistake # 1: Motivating the child with dogma rather than reason. In other words, “Do what I say,” rather than: “If you do X, then Y will happen.” For … Continue reading
The Error of “Group Think”
What is “group think”? It’s the opposite of individuality. Individuality resides in the independent use of your mind. “Independent” means objective, which means you independently use a rational method of thinking about people, situations and events. Rational does not necessarily … Continue reading
Why I’m Against “Self-Help”
I am a therapist, but I have come to resent the notion of “self-help.” One problem with “self-help” as we know it is that it emphasizes “how to.” A lot of people, in trying to cope better emotionally, ask questions … Continue reading