Q: If we are not biologically programmed to reproduce, where does “motherly instinct” come? Yes, you can make a decision to love and nurture a child, but I can tell you, as a mother, my decision to do so was … Continue reading
Q: I just finished reading your article, “The Psychology of Pity”. Superb. So if pity is really contempt, is self-pity really self-contempt? A: Absolutely. It logically follows that if pity is really contempt, then self-pity is self-contempt. In the … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: I have been pondering this (Thomas) Aquinas quote from your site that seems uncharacteristic of your philosophy and I am curious as to its meaning: “Love takes up where knowledge leaves off.” I interpret this to mean: … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd, I am an adjunct instructor and just finished teaching a short course “Perfectionism in addictive behaviors.” After reading your recent blog post “You can’t be too perfect” I am wondering if you would agree that maladaptive perfection … Continue reading
In response to my last column, several people wrote in and asked: “Is pity an emotion of contempt?” My reply is that yes, pity is an emotion filled with contempt. Pity is not genuine empathy or compassion. Pity is based … Continue reading
Do traumas, tragedies, and difficulties make you stronger? I say: NO. It’s not difficulty that makes people stronger. What makes you strong are the habits of rationality and serenity which make difficulty bearable in the first place. You’re better because … Continue reading
Most people assume mental health is a matter of either medicine, or moral weakness. The medicine side assumes that medical treatment will eradicate mental illness symptoms, and that’s pretty much all there is to it. The moral weakness side assumes … Continue reading
Intellectually, people almost always agree with me when I claim, “You cannot control anybody else’s actions.” Yet, on the emotional level there is almost always resistance — in a few cases, even hostility. It’s always a red flag when a … Continue reading
Dr. Hurd: I’m at a crossroads and could use your perspective. I’ve fallen in love with my best friend. We’ve known each other for years. She’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever known. The catch: She’s married with kids and … Continue reading
Telling others what to do is an insult. It implies that the person you’re ordering to do something has no rational faculty of his or her own. If you went up to somebody and said, ‘You’re mindless. You can’t do … Continue reading
Q: This question is regarding your article, “The Biggest Mistake People Make” about changing people (see The Daily Dose of Reason 3/25/11). While the choice of action and thought will always remain with the individual, are we not affected by … Continue reading
Dr. Hurd: You wrote the following in a recent Life’s a Beach column: “The death of a beloved pet is certainly among the more difficult situations I face across in my office. I try to help people correct the mistaken … Continue reading