Dr. Hurd: You wrote the following in a recent Life’s a Beach column: “The death of a beloved pet is certainly among the more difficult situations I face across in my office. I try to help people correct the mistaken … Continue reading
Category: Psychology & Self-Improvement
Narcissism vs. Self-Esteem
Some psychologists, and other moralistic alarmists, continue to be concerned about the presence of ‘too much’ self-esteem among today’s youth. They cite, as evidence, the responses of 16,475 college students nationwide who, between 1982 and 2006, completed an evaluation called … Continue reading
The Psychology of Anger (Part 4 of 4)
Continued from yesterday’s Daily Dose of Reason, concluding today. Defensiveness and Anger A final issue with anger involves defensiveness. Defensiveness is particularly relevant to marital or romantic relationships, though it can come up in friendships and business relationships as well. … Continue reading
The Psychology of Anger (Part 3 of 4)
Continued from yesterday’s Daily Dose of Reason When There Are No Solutions Another issue with anger involves the solution-oriented approach. Although focusing on solutions over being angry is a psychological cornerstone of anger management—for example, finding different routes to work … Continue reading
The Psychology of Anger (Part 2 of 4)
Continued from yesterday’s Daily Dose of Reason What are some antidotes to irrational anger? The most effective, but also the most difficult at times, is simply changing the way you think. Use your irrational angry outbursts—or the threat of one—as … Continue reading
The Psychology of Anger (Part 1 of 4)
Why are Some People Angrier than Others? According to Jerry Deffenbacher, Ph.D., a psychologist who specializes in anger management, some people really are more ‘hotheaded’ than others, becoming angry more easily and more intensely. There are also those who don’t … Continue reading
Things Psychiatrists and Therapists Do to Help You Stay the Way You Are
1) Call your troubling emotions an “illness.” An illness is something that happens to you independent of your control. While certain behaviors under your control (smoking, for example) may bring on illness, once an illness develops it runs its … Continue reading
You Can’t Love But Not Respect
Q: Dr. Hurd, I’m in high school. A friend of mine at school keeps complaining that his parents treat him harsher than they treat his older brother. It’s not that they’re abusive or anything. However, they seem to hold him … Continue reading
Top 10 Things People Do To Get in Their Own Way
1. Have Kids Without Thinking. Too many people have kids because it’s the thing to do, it’s what they feel they should do, or because their spouse/partner wants them to. Very few have kids because they want to, because they … Continue reading
“All I Did For You!”
Parents of teenagers often expect their children to appreciate them. “All I’ve done for you! Why can’t you show gratitude?” To see the error here, think about what gratitude is. Gratitude is an emotion one feels towards someone for something … Continue reading
A Rare Rational Voice on Crime and Psychology
Dr. Hurd’s review of Dr. Stanton Samenow’s latest book, The Myth of the “Out of Character” Crime: People love to make excuses for, and rationalize, their own erroneous actions. Unfortunately this applies to criminals at least as much as ordinary … Continue reading
The Dog Whisperer Beats Human Psychologists
When it comes to child psychology, I much prefer Cesar Millan — “The Dog Whisperer” — to the mental health establishment. Millan is a dog psychologist, but he’s more of a human one than you think. In case you haven’t … Continue reading