Q: Is arrogance the opposite of modesty? A: First, we have to define “arrogance.” Merriam-Webster dictionary defines arrogance as, “an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions.” The definition I prefer is: Arrogance … Continue reading →

Q: Dear Dr. Hurd, I am going through a difficult divorce. It’s not about money, and we have no kids. It’s about friends. Many of our friends are shunning one or the other of us, with no reason or explanation. … Continue reading →

Q: Mommy, why is it wrong to be selfish and right to always share? Wrong answer: Because it’s not nice. You should care for other people and be sensitive to their needs. Right answer: It’s best to ignore the word … Continue reading →

Q: I enjoyed your article on the hazards of perfectionism. With respect to food, I personally find that once I start binging or eating one of the “banned foods” I just keep at it. Because I’ve already “failed” so why … Continue reading →

The following is an excerpt from Dr. Hurd’s new book, Bad Therapy, Good Therapy (And How to Tell the Difference). The book is available in Kindle e-book format through Amazon.com, and autographed copies may be purchased at this web site. One … Continue reading →

A reader wrote in and asked, “Can history be objective? Or will any rendering of history be tainted by the historian’s personal perspective?” Actually, history can and must be objective. But it has to be fact-based. And then, once facts … Continue reading →

A reader wrote in and asked, “Why is what you cannot have often more appealing than what you can have?” Wanting what you cannot have is the easy way out. For some, fantasy is preferable to putting the work into … Continue reading →

You often hear people say things like, “That Joe. He has problems. But he can be quite a jerk, too, Is that it — or does he have problems?” My question is: Why not both? You have to understand something. … Continue reading →

Dear Dr. Hurd: I consider myself a compulsive talker.  A talker that gets myself into trouble.  For me it’s not so much an inadaquency as some kind of crazy need to say something or answer someone when an answer is … Continue reading →

Anxiety: You cannot take a risk. It’s too painful. What if your risk doesn’t work out? Reason: You’ll be no worse off than before you started. Anxiety: But you’ll feel badly. Reason: Won’t you feel badly if you don’t try … Continue reading →

It’s wrong and irrational to pretend that you’re a victim when you’re not; but it also serves an emotional purpose, for many people. By “emotional” I mean irrational. It’s not that emotions are always mistaken or irrational, but in this … Continue reading →