Conclusion of yesterday’s column ‘Social justice’ is usually code for ‘self-sacrifice.’ You would be encouraged by such a therapist to sacrifice, wherever possible, for the sake of ‘the social good’ as against the good of the individual; specifically ‘the social … Continue reading
A reader wrote and asked me if for a person with serious emotional issues related to his or her life situation, is there any help to be had from most therapists? He stated, ‘My experience when I was younger was … Continue reading
A reader recently wrote and asked if it’s true that even a pet’s love is conditional. He wrote, ‘From my own experience it is. Perhaps it seems so to people in general — that a pet loves them unconditionally — … Continue reading
Is all anxiety bad, or based on faulty thinking? Of course not. Are all negative thoughts erroneous, just because they describe or embody negative ideas? No. Anxiety is a useful and necessary thing, when it involves a call to rational … Continue reading
The ‘entitlement mentality’ is just as destructive to personal relationships as it is to society. First, let’s be clear about what the entitlement mentality actually is. It’s an irrational belief that one is entitled to things, people or relationships — … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: I have always found the following very difficult. When to discuss a subject, incident, action that upset me with the person involved? My thinking goes something along the lines of this: What do I hope to gain … Continue reading
Thanks to a reader, I recently ran across a somewhat cynical yet surprisingly astute commentary on human relationships: There’s a really good chance that the last person who got annoyed with you for seemingly no reason at all did it … Continue reading
A university student recently asked me some questions that pertain to my profession. I’m publishing the interview here. How many years have you worked in the field? Since 1988 upon completion of my Master’s degree, when I began working in … Continue reading
Marry only when the other person seems lovely to you. Marry when you love, not when you would sacrifice for him, or wish to possess him. When those twin evils, self-denial and possessiveness, enter a human relation, hell comes with … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: Thank you for writing the piece on handling people who want to validate their irrational emotions. You answered it from your perspective as a therapist. What I also would like to know is what I could do … Continue reading
A reader sent in the following quote found somewhere on Facebook: “Funny thing is that social psychology research says that the more you think things through, the less logical your action — gives you too much time to rationalize.” It’s … Continue reading
Dr. Hurd: How do you (as a psychotherapist/life coach) deal with someone one who wants you to validate their irrational emotions and accuses you of not caring how they feel? Dr. Hurd’s reply: I sometimes say to people: ‘You pay … Continue reading