Dear Dr. Hurd: My boyfriend and I have been living together for 8 years. Overall, we’re happy (or at least I thought we were). A couple of months ago he started seeing a therapist. I have no idea why. Now, … Continue reading
Sometimes people say, “I won’t have any expectations. That way, I won’t be disappointed.” Is this even possible? Actually, this is not a healthy approach. The reason is: You have expectations whether you want to think so, or not. If … Continue reading
Job security. Health security. Social Security. Security, security, security … Conventional wisdom to the contrary, “security” does not mean the absence of conflict, work or pain. Psychologically, security refers to an emotional state of competence, freedom-worship, and confidence that one … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd, So much is said, especially in religion, about honoring your parents . What if a parent does not honor their child? My mother makes it a point to embarrass and humiliate me in front of friends and … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd, After a particularly alcohol-filled weekend on the town, my girlfriend and I decided that we would attend AA in our hometown. We don’t have a huge problem, but we need to learn how to moderate. It’s been … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd, My boyfriend and I have been living together for several years. Long story short, I’m beginning to suspect he’s either seeing somebody else, or “hooking up” with someone else behind my back. He’s pulling away from me, … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd, My husband and I live in a resort/beach area. We moved here for an early retirement, and overall love it. For some reason, he now feels like we have to play ‘bed and breakfast’ to any and … Continue reading
It’s possible to be in a committed relationship, while still remaining independent. Independence means you know who you are, what you wish to do in life, and why. You don’t expect or demand the person you’re in a relationship with … Continue reading
Is it possible to be good at something you don’t love? Yes. Talent and motivation are related. One fuels the other. The more you love something, the more you’ll put effort into that activity for its own sake. The more … Continue reading
Does thinking about your pain make it worse? Whether that pain is emotional, or physical? Thinking about your pain comes under the category of worrying. Another word for worrying is “ruminating.” Thinking about negative events means one of two things. … Continue reading
If you want to better understand the concept of cognitive therapy, tune in to an unlikely source: Chef Robert Irvine’s Food Network series, Restaurant Impossible. Food Network’s website describes the show as follows: ‘Turning around a failing restaurant is a … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: I enjoy reading your posts. I’m curious about the rational use of alcohol. I find that after a few drinks, many activities are more enjoyable such as mediocre/bad movies, actors whose political views I don’t share, and … Continue reading