…disappear. Don’t fall for false alternatives. Years ago, a man told me he really wanted to become a presidential press secretary. And if that didn’t happen, he would have to end up as a greeter for Walmart. After I picked myself up off the floor, I realized this guy genuinely believed that there was simply nothing in between. In reality, there’s everything in between. All he had to do was to take off his blinders. Beware the foolish false alterna… Continue reading →

…fference between asking someone to interrupt you less and asking them to become generally more polite. Generalized complaints are vague and lead to defensiveness. Specific, polite requests tend to work better. You wouldn’t approach a stranger with vagueness or rudeness — at least not if you wanted something out of them. So why should it work with the one person you profess to love? The worst thing a spouse can do is to top the anger with the accus… Continue reading →

…arily eliminate loneliness. It’s psychologically healthy to enjoy your own company and the company of friends whether or not you’re in a relationship. That positive point of view can play a big part in attracting equally healthy partners. Sounds like a paradox, but it’s true: In order to find the love you want, you have to be content with being on your own. If you’re OK in your own company, it’s easier to attract somebody who will be just as happy… Continue reading →

…r work. Either way, if he or she doesn’t understand and respect what you do, you’re setting yourself up for one battle after another, where life becomes a frustrating compromise instead of pleasurable achievement.  … Continue reading →